Filed under: celebrity worship, perfectly impossible, sporty spice | Tags: balancing isn't my forte, conan o'brien, eat better, gym rat, i'm having an affair with italy, money sucks, perfectionist
it’s pretty much february. that blows my mind. how has the first month of twenty-ten disappeared already?!
i’m making progress on bettering myself and making this MY year. it’s funny though — while i’m making improvements in certain areas of my life, i’m falling HARD off the wagon in others. balance, i’ve always lacked it.
i don’t want to jinx myself by listing the things i’ve done well in the past few weeks, so instead, i’ll do what i do best — berate myself for not being perfect:
perfect: never gonna happen. get over yourself, flippy.
gym: i miss you. it’s not you, it’s me. i’m lazy/busy. that might seem counterintuitive, but i assure you, it’s not. it’s just my life.
food: i spend way too much on food that’s way too bad for me. must. start. fast-food fast. AGAIN. must also start cooking because deep down, i know i can.
dentist: get one. immediately. book an appointment shortly after.
conan: stop crying about the whole nbc debacle (it’s been three weeks, after all) and start following coco’s words of wisdom. i’m becoming far too cynical and knowing he would be disappointed in me is kind of a tragedy.
writing: write more. write every day. write online. write in a journal. just write.
money: we’re getting there. slowly but surely, we’re getting there. eventually, we’ll be there.
travel: take the time and just go.
.
Filed under: bestest friends, perfectly impossible | Tags: awesome short person in flip flops, california knows how to party, my flippy floppies, short is the new tall, stupid is as stupid does
i had big important plans to post about my awesomely awesome weekend in san fran, but then my awesomely awesome travel partner pointed out that i’m the sixth result in google for “stupid short person in flip flops.”
my pride is wounded.
*update: now i’m the first result. SEO FAIL.
**update 2.0: BUT now i’m also the first result for “awesome short person in flip flops.” SEO SUCCESS!!
Filed under: a few of my favorite things | Tags: california knows how to party, obsessions are ok in small doses
i just really wanted to write that.
and let you know i’m going to california again in approximately 10 hours.
i love my life. but not as much as i love california.
Filed under: fear and loathing, geek chic | Tags: blackberry, cell phone, feed me, help?, i'm too old for this
i’m pretty sure i should hire a personal assistant.
granted, i don’t have any money, and i can get really bitchy and/or whiny when i haven’t slept. but basically, i really need someone to take on the full-time job of making sure i act like a grown-up.
example: i don’t eat when i should. and when i do eat, i make poor choices. for instance, i’m sitting here, shaking because i’m so hungry, but instead of doing the responsible thing and making a sandwich, i’m blogging about it. (if you’re in the neighborhood, turkey on rye with a wee bit of mayo. thanks.)
another example: i don’t do errands. one of the main reasons i’m not eating (besides pure laziness) is because i need to go grocery shopping. i’ve needed to for about three weeks. i went before christmas, but only so i could buy six bottles of wine and a case of cheese dip.
the grocery shopping isn’t my biggest concern right now. that’s why they invented “pizza delivery” and “fast food.” no, my biggest concern is that my blackberry committed suicide this weekend and i needed to order a new one and i now have to fedex the original blackberry back to my phone company. WHAT?! how do i even begin to fedex something? don’t i already have enough to worry about with the whole phone-breaking-and-i-can’t-update-my-twitter-every-15-seconds thing and trying to figure out how to activate the replacement phone? and can someone please tell me how to back-up all my contacts when i don’t have access to the network? this is all far too complicated. i’ve managed to download five different programs and i’m nowhere closer to transferring my contacts from one phone to another.
(if you knew that i worked in a tech center, your brain would probably explode at my sheer incompetence with this phone debacle.)
so, yeah. if you’re looking for a new job that doesn’t pay well (or at all), requires a high tolerance for dealing with bitchy, sleep-deprived idiots and starts within the next 10 days (because that’s how long i have to fedex this stupid thing), call me! no, wait. e-mail me. god damn phone.
Filed under: bestest friends, family first, fear and loathing, journalicious, party star, perfectly impossible, sporty spice, the cat's meow, work and play | Tags: ch-ch-changes, flippy through the years
i wasn’t going to post a 2009 wrap-up (because i’m an original, yo), but then i read phampants post from yesterday, and i figured i’d give it a whirl.
so here she is, flippy 2000-2009*:
2000: a junior in high school, and a bit of a disaster. i smashed my first car into a million pieces, got grounded for the first and only time (circumstances? not important — but it started with adult beverages and culminated with a list that my father forced me to write detailing everything bad i’d ever done. EVER.), hated my brother a little less, loved an impossible and unavailable boy a little more and visited a therapist who made me feel like a spoiled little princess who shouldn’t have felt as awful as she did.
2001: graduated high school and moved on to college. originally intended to move to california for school, but chickened out last minute and stayed in state. regretted the decision almost immediately. thank god for a kickass roommate and a bestie from home. i went from an outgoing honor student to a shy, uncomfortable freshman who napped all the time. (god, i miss napping all the time.)
2002: i met who i thought was the “love of my life” — and proceeded to cut everyone else out of it. five months later, he dumped me. then came crawling back. i took him back and began the cycle again. moved off campus with kickass roomie and bestie from home. worst experience ever. alienated both of them and rarely went home. got my groove back with school, but only because i took a bunch of classes with the boyfriend. (i was clearly a winner.)
2003: continued an abusive pattern of clinging to my boyfriend even as he was breaking my heart. moved into an apartment with kickass roomie even though i was still an asshole. got a job at the mall and slowly started making friends who lived in a world outside of my boyfriend’s. discovered the journalism program. hated it and many of the people in it. created an amazing idea as to how to get my BA in journalism with the least amount of effort possible.
2004: promptly crushed my amazing cheat-the-journa-system idea by joining the school paper’s editorial staff. loved the soul-crushing thrill of spending 50 hours a week in a dirty, cramped newsroom. stayed in a rapidly deteriorating relationship with a boy who continued to prove he wasn’t good enough for me. may or may not have fallen in love with someone else. realized something had to give and finally broke off the longest relationship of my life. the someone else moved away and the love that could’ve been never was. hated commitment and turned my back on it forever. turned 21 and drowned sorrows in too many vodka tonics. took too many classes and pushed myself to the limit in an effort to be my own person.
2005: interned with a local nonprofit. finished college a quarter early. hopped a flight to europe and discovered the not-so-cheap thrill of living out of a backpack and speaking broken italian. quit my mall job and tried to stay abroad as long as possible. ran out of money after a month. begged mall job to take me back. let journa-friend convince me to apply for better job. received an offer for promotion at mall job and position at better job on the same day. went with better job, became a grown-up and began a crazy night-shift schedule that would continue for much longer than anticipated.
2006: continued living in college town. college friends moved on. rain, gloom and night surrounded my world and tempted me back into the arms of depression. considered options. decided to move to san diego on a whim. better job offered me a promotion and relocation package. moving somewhere new with a job appealed to me more than moving somewhere new without one. visited the d.c. area to make the final decision.
2007: made final decision. accepted promotion and moved 3,000 miles away. went through strange growing pains within new position, which ultimately led to a better position within the same company. pined and missed certain people more than i expected. adopted a cat. fell in love with the cat. became crazy cat lady. kept my distance from making new friends and invited old friends to visit whenever possible.
2008: moved into a new home with new people and began feeling comfortable for the first time. went out A LOT and discovered, “wow, i’m not 21 anymore.” went out anyway. continued to miss certain people and made several trips home. filled the void of missing by joining a gym. began running again. liked it. kept doing it. cat needed surgery. did not like that.
2009: a rough year. dealt with several issues that i left off this blog for a reason — hence my mid-year blogging hiatus. as the year comes to a close, i can’t think of any significant events to differentiate it from years past. at least, not yet. i’ve learned many things about myself through these hardships, though, and i’ve learned that i need to start looking out for myself first. and most of all, i’m realizing that my love of certain people, friends and family is more important than status or money. i just want to be happy.
*this post is so emo. my apologies.
Filed under: celebrity worship, obscure pop culture references | Tags: chuck bass rocks my world, kristen bell, soul searching via google
no. no, i’m not. and i don’t need a search engine to tell me that.
people who are finding my blog by searching “I’M CHUCK BASS,” what the heck is going on in your little heads? please enlighten me. while yes, he’s completely awesome, he’s also COMPLETELY FICTIONAL. why would you want to be someone who doesn’t even exist?
now if you’ll excuse me, i need to get back to google searching “i’m kristen bell.” because at least she’s real.
Filed under: a few of my favorite things, family first | Tags: blondes don't have more fun but they spend a lot more money, christmas, gift cards rock my world, i would live at nordstrom if i could, shopaholic, shopping, spoiled brat
awww, gift cards. am i the only person in the world that prefers gift cards to real gifts*? seriously — money i have to spend on something fun? yes, please!
this year, i made bank in gift cards. but because of self-imposed shopping restrictions and debt-ridden guilt, i don’t even know how to use them.
so hypothetically, what would you buy if you had hundreds of dollars to spend at, say, nordstrom? shoes? make-up? ridiculously over-priced designer jeans that make your ass look awesome?
while we’re at it, what would you buy at amazon? sephora? or even starbucks? i just need a little nudge and then i think the post-christmas shopping spree can commence.
*so you know i’m not COMPLETELY greedy and ungrateful, i should admit that the best gift i received this year (or pretty much ever) was most certainly not a gift card — it was a pair of diamond earrings my mom had a jeweller make for me from one of my late grandmother’s bracelets. pretty sure the promise of new clothes and extra lattes didn’t make my heart swell up to 80 times its size like those earrings did.
Filed under: a few of my favorite things, bestest friends, celebrity worship, perfectly impossible, the cat's meow, work and play | Tags: 200, bulleted lists are cop-outs, california knows how to party, concert, d.c, growing up, kristen bell, one tree hill, pretty things, wedding, yes i'm obsessed with my cat
i started this blog more than two years ago. the fact that this is only my 200th post in that length of time makes me really super sad. however, if my calculations are correct, that works out to one post every 4 days, which means i’m a lot less flaky than i originally thought. (p.s. pithy, don’t even try the math.)
well, i’ve got nothing special to offer for this monumental occasion. no contests, no wacky vlogs — not even a horribly drawn, last-minute Microsoft Paint picture.
instead, i’ve got a bulleted list of things that are different now than when i started in 2007.
1. i actually have friends in d.c.: ok, to be honest, i was buddies with a lot of coworkers when i started this here journal of my life. i even confided in a few of them from time to time. but now? i feel like i’ve got a core group of people who i would miss more than life itself if i picked up and moved away. (to clarify, this includes many of those coworkers.) and i was definitely not at that point when i started. pretty sure the only core friend was the cat i adopted to keep me company.
2. i’m addicted to kristen bell, one tree hill and a shit ton of other things i should’ve already adored in 2007: not really much to add to this one. i’m in love with a bunch of teenybopper tv shows that i should’ve probably loved when they debuted five or so years ago.
3. i rediscovered the gym and lost all that i-hate-my-life-so-i’m-gonna-move-across-the-country weight: sure, i’ve rediscovered cookies for lunch and i’m slowly starting to gain it back. but at one point, i lost it and i will hold onto that FOREVER.
4. i got my nose pierced — at a rock concert no less. sorry, mommy. i guess i’m just a 26-year-old rebel child at heart.
5. i found out it IS possible to find cheap rent in the d.c. area. but when you live in a house with a bunch of party girls, you will still drain your wallet. at least it’s way more fun than paying pet rent.
6. i’m not a good dancer. i’ve always thought this might be the case, but i now know for certain that i’m not. it doesn’t stop me from trying, though.
7. flying cross-country makes me sick. but it won’t stop me from squeezing in a long weekend from home (or california) and taking the red-eye back before work on monday.
8. i miss learning and kinda want to go back to school. two years ago, i just wanted to take italian classes. now, i want my masters’ degree. i just need to decide which master’s degree. did you know there are literally thousands to choose from? well, there are. i also need to fall into a pile of money to pay for said masters’ degree.
9. i’ve quadrupled the amount of weddings i’ve attended. and weddings are a lot more fun than they used to be, now that the newlyweds are almost always people i know really well. plus, an excuse to buy a new dress , an open bar and free food don’t hurt…
10. i’m still indecisive, stubborn and passive aggressive — the difference is, i no longer deny it. love me or hate me, some things may never change. also, i’m still obsessed with my cat. deal with it.
Filed under: bestest friends, family first, fear and loathing, the cat's meow | Tags: christmas time, crazy cat lady, holiday shopping, no snow, procrastination
… but i will write about what a pain it’s going to be to get anything done in d.c. over the weekend.
i haven’t done any x-mas shopping. none. zilch.
this isn’t out of the ordinary. i’ve been perfecting procrastination since the early 90s, and buying things for other people is just one of those tasks i put off. not because i don’t like giving gifts — i LOVE giving gifts when i know someone will actually like them. no, i put it off because i get completely panicky and anxious that someone will hate something i put way too much effort into buying just for them. (i’m not great with rejection.)
so here i am, tummy churning, head spinning with too many not-so-great ideas — and i (supposedly) won’t be able to leave my house this weekend. so the shopping will be delayed yet again. and once again, santa flippy’s sleigh of goodies will arrive too late for christmas. and this just makes me even more panicky and anxious-y and scatterbrained-y — not only will i end up buying something my friends and family members will hate, but i’ll also disappoint them with my perpetual tardiness.
also, i’m out of kitty litter. which means my cat’s going to hate me this christmas, too.
