Flipflops in the Rain


one year

one year ago, i moved back to the west coast.
i lived with my parents.
i started a new job.
i turned a long-distance relationship into a very short one.
i turned short-distance friendships into very long ones.
i rekindled long-term traditions with my childhood best friends.
i had big expectations.

today, i’m not moving anywhere.
i live alone in the city with my loyal fluffball.
i love my job.
i have moved on from the relationship i thought was meant to be forever.
i miss my east coast friends every minute of every day.
i love my west coast friends even more every minute of every day.
i have no more expectations.

in one year, i have learned to take risks.
i will go back to europe in five weeks.
i will run a half-marathon in three months.
i will probably adopt another fluffball in six months.
i will graduate with a master’s degree in 18 months.
i will learn to create a decent meal in 24 months. maybe.
i will take each day one step at a time.

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so, the snow storm came.

(that’s what she said.)

in all seriousness, i completely doubted that the snOMG/snowmageoddeon/whatever-clever-snow-related-name-you-may-have-called-it-on-twitter was going to hit the D.C. area. in the three years i’ve lived here, i’ve learned a few things — Virginia is not the same as D.C.;  drinking is much more socially acceptable on the East Coast; and even the most minor of snow predictions will create pandemonium,  leading to a rapid depletion of eggs, milk and toilet paper in all local grocery stores.

call me a cynic, but i mocked the panic all day. i had a holiday party to attend that night and nothing was going to get in my way.

and it didn’t. i definitely celebrated that night — i celebrated so hard that by the time it started snowing, i didn’t even realize how fast it was accumulating until i was facedown sobbing in it at the end of the night because i couldn’t catch a cab back to virginia and my boots were definitely not ice proof.

it’s a long, torrid, emotional tale, but after a two-hour walk/metro ride home, i fell through the door, tackled my roommate and didn’t leave the safety net of my house for 72 hours.

and now i know i will be first in line for eggs, milk and toilet paper during next week’s predicted snow showers.



disclaimer.

i had a good friend contact me today, concerned that whenever he heard from me, i seemed somewhat less-than-pleased with life, and that he sensed “the slightest twinge of regret” about my decision to jump ship and move across the country. the east-coast loving half of my psyche cringed….

it’s definitely time i explain myself.

i write when i’m upset. i write when i’m confused. i write when i really need to unleash my thoughts, as wild and erratic as they may be. i rarely write when i’m content and happy with the day-to-day events in my life. sadly, this means i write e-mails, letters, blog posts, thank you cards, graduation speeches, lullabies, etc., when i’m not completely 100 percent. and if you know me really well, you know i’m not one to keep things to myself. so, again — i unleash my problems to the world.

i don’t wanna be that girl. the whiny, bitchy, silently fuming snob standing in the corner, writing her own obituary while everyone else peacefully moves on with their day. And honestly, i’m not that girl. but sometimes, i really can’t hide my emotions. and when i can’t, i vent via paper/electronic submission form. once upon a time, it was just my diary (and my mother who secretly read my diary) who saw my inner demons. now, because it’s 2007 when everyone and their dad has a blog, all of my lucky readers get to see me for who i really am.

so i’m gonna lay it out there just this once — i am so glad i moved out here. the area, the people, the cat i adopted, the experience — all of it has helped me figure out what i truly want out of life (cheeeeeesy… sorry). but yes, there are times i doubt myself. i will never regret the choices i’ve made, and i refuse to let these choices define me (except for the decisions that make me happy!), but i will unfortunately show moments of weakness.

and i will show them here.