Flipflops in the Rain


my cat joined twitter today.

for those of you who follow my tweets, you may have seen an explosion in pet talk today.

a seemingly harmless suggestion to follow another pet led to my cat magically creating an account with the sole purpose of taunting and harassing my friends and me.  (examples: “@flipflopsinrain Who says I’m alone? The raccoons are taking turns mating on your pillow.” or “my mommeh could kick the refried beans out of your mommehs ass.”)

i am not writing these tweets. i didn’t even create the account. i find this a little unsettling, especially since my cat seems to be a pretty superb artist, in between surfing icanhazcheeseburger.

i’m finally going crazy, aren’t i?

a shout out to the other free-spirited creatures who joined twitter today: Kismet, Just a Girl‘s “borderline retarded chihuahua with a serious thing for blankets,” and Nutsak, Pithy‘s one-eyed kitteh. you animals are smarter than the average bear… and that scares me.
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SADness and lethargy
October 28, 2009, 6:59 pm
Filed under: fear and loathing, perfectly impossible | Tags: , , , , , ,

i could go on and on linking to previous posts about how much i hate the fall/winter, bad weather and overall mood-swinginess i suffer from four to six months out of the year, but i won’t. (well, that’s a lie. i spent about five minutes doing it.)

for four to six months out of the year, i ache. i cough. i whine. i sleep. repeat.

i eat. i laze. i bitch. i sleep. repeat.

i lack creativity. i lack motivation. i lack hope.

FOR FOUR TO SIX MONTHS OUT OF THE YEAR. that’s pathetic. and unacceptable. and i’m ready to turn it around.

but i can’t figure out how. (see above.)

i know that exercise leads to energy — but i can only muster the energy to work out one to two times a week. (the second workout usually consist of lazy-girl’s yoga, which means i spend 10 minutes stretching and rolling around on the floor while my cat stares at me in confusion.)

i know waking up first thing in the morning and ignoring the snooze button increases this much-needed energy, but gawd! that extra 20 minutes of sleep feels sooo good and my bed is sooo toasty.

i know caffeine ultimately depletes my body’s power, but i can’t function like a normal human without it.

i know a lot of things about this disease they call SAD, but i don’t know where to start the recovery process. if someone has some tips, i sure could use them.

also, i lack so much creativity that i just used thesaurus.com far too many times.




kaleidoscope hair and a public cry for help

it was brought to my attention today that people keep tabs on me by the color of my hair. apparently, i change it pretty frequently.

on that note, my (extremely expensive) highlights are growing out and i’ve got myself a halo of dirty dishwater blonde. about this time of year, i go darker, but i’m thinking of staying blonde this winter (mostly because it pains me to throw away the 8 zillion dollars i spent just three months ago). anybody have tips on how to cheaply rectify the roots situation? i’ve blown my budget out of the water and i have absolutely NO way of spending $100+ on my hair right now.

ladies, i’m talking to you. box-dye highlights? john frieda blonde shampoo? what should i do?



california plus vacation equals happiness

the grass is greener in california. the sky is bluer, the sun is brighter, the mac and cheese is cheesier, the people are happier, the activities are morer (copyright: me*). all i really need to say is — my vacation was fabulous, and i want to go back.

in no particular order, this is what i did:
spent time with some of my favorite college friends.
reminisced a LOT with said college friends.
ate sushi.
almost got kicked out of a bar for taking my shoes off.
went to conan and chelsea.
rewatched and tried to find myself on both conan and chelsea.
drank beer.
drank wine.
drank sake.
drank champagne.
drank tequila. at disneyland.
got lost looking for an entrance to a secret in-n-out.
finally ate in-n-out (animal style, with a neopolitan shake**)
drove in tons of LA traffic.
navigated LA traffic without a map.
almost left my mom on the side of an LA freeway because she was driving me crazy.
took a ferry to coronodo island.
saw the grey’s anatomy set.
went to a 21-and-older movie theater and drank blue moon.
didn’t exercise.
didn’t think about work.
there’s more.
but i think this list is too long.
and no one even reads lists.

*actually, copyright urban dictionary. who knew?
** you are welcome.



pro: i’m back

con: i’m still on vacation mode.

my brain’s kind of fuzzy and i’m still on pacific time. i’m also picturing a beer in my hands instead of a computer but that’s beside the point.

someone, motivate me.

how do i get back in the groove of every day life? do i just nut up and go to the gym? or do i milk this lazy-lethargic-and-jetlagged feeling for another week? i *do* have a lot of tv to catch up on.

on another note, i saw a chihuahua with greyhound legs the other day. it was super disturbing and it looked like this*:grey

creepy huh? its legs were like twigs just begging to be snapped in half.

*this image isn’t exactly literal. it was also wearing a red hoodie.



california will be a sight for these weary eyes…

yeah, yeah, i hate october. wah, wah, wah.

but this year, i’ve been counting down the days because tomorrow… I’M GOING TO CALIFORNIA!!

hello, sunshine, celebrities* and cool ocean breeze. mommy’s missed you.

*i’ll be in the audience for both chelsea lately and the tonight show with conan o’brien. and!!! kristen bell, my very favorite, will be a guest on conan one of the days i have tickets (Oct. 6, Maxie — watch it…)!!! it’s 50-50 whether i’ll be able to attend that day, but since i’m kind of a psycho celeb stalker**, i at least know she’ll be in town while i’m there…

**and by stalker, i mean, I’m not. please don’t get a restraining order. (because i know kristen and her agent totally read this.)