Flipflops in the Rain

eye’m feeling a bit nauseous.
February 27, 2008, 12:02 pm
Filed under: fear and loathing, work and play | Tags: , , , , ,

I have a lump on my eye.
And my vision is going cloudy.
And my stomach is churning because my evil co-workers are telling me (in graphic detail) how the doctors will get rid of my eye growth.

This is why I hate doctors. They’re licensed to slice and dice and burn me.
This is also why I hate my co-workers. They’re licensed to terrorize and provoke me.

UPDATE: Poem wins the Creepiest Co-worker Award for sending me this horrendous piece of art. Fair warning — this link is not for the weak-stomached.

a long time ago, we used to be friends…
February 25, 2008, 9:59 am
Filed under: a few of my favorite things, celebrity worship | Tags: , , ,

In between moving houses, drinking beer at the house, taking pictures of the house, shopping for the house, cleaning for the house, organizing of the house, I’ve been watching veronica mars. lots and lots of veronica mars. since you’ve last seen me, i’ve decided i want to *be* veronica mars. i realize this means i need to stop scaring so easily. and possibly lose 30 pounds. and shrink two inches. and dye my hair blonde. and lose my best friend to a tragic murder scandal. and put my mom in rehab. and work for my dad solving crimes. and go back to high school.

hmm… maybe i haven’t thought this through very carefully.

whatever the case, i heart veronica mars.

i choo-choo-choose you.
February 14, 2008, 1:00 am
Filed under: obscure pop culture references, perfectly impossible

i realized this year that i’m in love with valentine’s day. yes, i know it’s sickening, and yes, i’m even disgusted in myself. i’m a disgrace to jaded single girls everywhere.

but i’m still in love.


here’s to a day that celebrates wine, candy and pink hearts! I don’t know about you, but i plan on buying myself flowers, dressing in my comfiest sweats and spending the evening gossiping about love gone wrong and getting silly drunk with my girlfriends.

seriously — how can so many people dread this Hallmark-concocted holiday?

my geek chic level is rapidly dropping.

bye bye, Mac.
bye bye, happiness.
hello, ugly PC.
I think I’m gonna cry.
Good-bye, my wonderful glorious Mac, good-bye.

(*sung to tune of Simon and Garfunkel’s “Bye Bye Love,” of course)

It’s a sad, sad week at the office for me. The evil-doers in the IT department are confiscating my precious Macbook Pro and dumping an icky, clunky PC laptop on me. I’m not sure when I became such a Mac whore, but I suspect it was about a year ago, thanks to Smugsy.

Bye Photobooth (and creepy pictures of my cat).

Bye easily configured wireless Internet.

Bye iLife.

some of us are ready to move…
February 10, 2008, 9:21 pm
Filed under: perfectly impossible, the cat's meow


Others would prefer to drink beer and watch reruns of “sex and the city,” hoping that the piles of clothes and books will pack themselves…

i can’t believe i’ve been living here for a year already… but i just signed a new lease, and I’ll be living in the DC area for at least another 16 months. While a commitment of that long scares the beejesus out of me, i’m looking forward to another new adventure.

i think….

i could be a scientist.
February 7, 2008, 9:40 am
Filed under: fear and loathing, perfectly impossible | Tags: , ,

BREAKING NEWS: Couples bug each other over long periods of time.

Seriously? This is research? I’m not even married and my future husband* is already on my nerves.

More proof that my cynicism toward relationships is not completely unfounded, I guess.

*Said future husband has not yet proposed nor introduced himself to me.

taking business casual to new lows.

College professors, characters on the “The Office” and my parents have always said, “don’t dress for the job you have — dress for the job you want.”

as i was rushing out the house this morning, cursing the gods for not giving me enough time to shower and/or make coffee, i looked down at my outfit and realized — “i must want to be a lazy pig of a soccer mom when i grow up.”

i didn’t even dress this disgusting when i worked retail.

Flipflops hates groundhog day.
February 3, 2008, 11:41 am
Filed under: fear and loathing | Tags: , , , ,

True to form, that stupid groundhog saw his shadow. Six more weeks of rain, cold and gloom for this rain-cold-and-gloom hater.