Flipflops in the Rain


flippy through the years

i wasn’t going to post a 2009 wrap-up (because i’m an original, yo), but then i read phampants post from yesterday, and i figured i’d give it a whirl.

so here she is, flippy 2000-2009*:

2000: a junior in high school, and a bit of a disaster. i smashed my first car into a million pieces, got grounded for the first and only time (circumstances? not important — but it started with adult beverages and culminated with a list that my father forced me to write detailing everything bad i’d ever done. EVER.), hated my brother a little less, loved an impossible and unavailable boy a little more and visited a therapist who made me feel like a spoiled little princess who shouldn’t have felt as awful as she did.

2001: graduated high school and moved on to college. originally intended to move to california for school, but chickened out last minute and stayed in state. regretted the decision almost immediately. thank god for a kickass roommate and a bestie from home. i went from an outgoing honor student to a shy, uncomfortable freshman who napped all the time. (god, i miss napping all the time.)

2002: i met who i thought was the “love of my life” — and proceeded to cut everyone else out of it. five months later, he dumped me. then came crawling back. i took him back and began the cycle again. moved off campus with kickass roomie and bestie from home. worst experience ever. alienated both of them and rarely went home. got my groove back with school, but only because i took a bunch of classes with the boyfriend. (i was clearly a winner.)

2003: continued an abusive pattern of clinging to my boyfriend even as he was breaking my heart. moved into an apartment with kickass roomie even though i was still an asshole. got a job at the mall and slowly started making friends who lived in a world outside of my boyfriend’s. discovered the journalism program. hated it and many of the people in it. created an amazing idea as to how to get my BA in journalism with the least amount of effort possible.

2004: promptly crushed my amazing cheat-the-journa-system idea by joining the school paper’s editorial staff. loved the soul-crushing thrill of spending 50 hours a week in a dirty, cramped newsroom. stayed in a rapidly deteriorating relationship with a boy who continued to prove he wasn’t good enough for me. may or may not have fallen in love with someone else. realized something had to give and finally broke off the longest relationship of my life. the someone else moved away and the love that could’ve been never was. hated commitment and turned my back on it forever. turned 21 and drowned sorrows in too many vodka tonics. took too many classes and pushed myself to the limit in an effort to be my own person.

2005:  interned with a local nonprofit. finished college a quarter early. hopped a flight to europe and discovered the not-so-cheap thrill of living out of a backpack and speaking broken italian. quit my mall job and tried to stay abroad as long as possible. ran out of money after a month. begged mall job to take me back. let journa-friend convince me to apply for better job. received an offer for promotion at mall job and position at better job on the same day. went with better job, became a grown-up and began a crazy night-shift schedule that would continue for much longer than anticipated.

2006: continued living in college town. college friends moved on. rain, gloom and night surrounded my world and tempted me back into the arms of depression. considered options. decided to move to san diego on a whim. better job offered me a promotion and relocation package. moving somewhere new with a job appealed to me more than moving somewhere new without one. visited the d.c. area to make the final decision.

2007: made final decision. accepted promotion and moved 3,000 miles away. went through strange growing pains within new position, which ultimately led to a better position within the same company. pined and missed certain people more than i expected. adopted a cat. fell in love with the cat. became crazy cat lady. kept my distance from making new friends and invited old friends to visit whenever possible.

2008: moved into a new home with new people and began feeling comfortable for the first time. went out A LOT and discovered, “wow, i’m not 21 anymore.” went out anyway. continued to miss certain people and made several trips home. filled the void of missing by joining a gym. began running again. liked it. kept doing it. cat needed surgery. did not like that.

2009: a rough year. dealt with several issues that i left off this blog for a reason — hence my mid-year blogging hiatus. as the year comes to a close, i can’t think of any significant events to differentiate it from years past. at least, not yet. i’ve learned many things about myself through these hardships, though, and i’ve learned that i need to start looking out for myself first. and most of all, i’m realizing that my love of certain people, friends and family is more important than status or money. i just want to be happy.

*this post is so emo. my apologies.

Advertisements


i’m chuck bass

no. no, i’m not. and i don’t need a search engine to tell me that.

people who are finding my blog by searching “I’M CHUCK BASS,” what the heck is going on in your little heads? please enlighten me. while yes, he’s completely awesome, he’s also COMPLETELY FICTIONAL. why would you want to be someone who doesn’t even exist?

now if you’ll excuse me, i need to get back to google searching “i’m kristen bell.” because at least she’s real.



the gift that keeps on giving

awww, gift cards. am i the only person in the world that prefers gift cards to real gifts*? seriously — money i have to spend on something fun? yes, please!

this year, i made bank in gift cards. but because of self-imposed shopping restrictions and debt-ridden guilt, i don’t even know how to use them.

so hypothetically, what would you buy if you had hundreds of dollars to spend at, say, nordstrom? shoes? make-up? ridiculously over-priced designer jeans that make your ass look awesome?

while we’re at it, what would you buy at amazon? sephora? or even starbucks? i just need a little nudge and then i think the post-christmas shopping spree can commence.

*so you know i’m not COMPLETELY greedy and ungrateful, i should admit that the best gift i received this year (or pretty much ever) was most certainly not a gift card — it was a pair of diamond earrings my mom had a jeweller make for me from one of my late grandmother‘s bracelets. pretty sure the promise of new clothes and extra lattes didn’t make my heart swell up to 80 times its size like those earrings did.



apparently this is my 200th post…

i started this blog more than two years ago. the fact that this is only my 200th post in that length of time makes me really super sad. however, if my calculations are correct, that works out to one post every 4 days, which means i’m a lot less flaky than i originally thought. (p.s. pithy, don’t even try the math.)

well, i’ve got nothing special to offer for this monumental occasion. no contests, no wacky vlogs — not even a horribly drawn, last-minute Microsoft Paint picture.

instead, i’ve got a bulleted list of things that are different now than when i started in 2007.

1. i actually have friends in d.c.: ok, to be honest, i was buddies with a lot of coworkers when i started this here journal of my life. i even confided in a few of them from time to time. but now? i feel like i’ve got a core group of people who i would miss more than life itself if i picked up and moved away. (to clarify, this includes many of those coworkers.) and i was definitely not at that point when i started. pretty sure the only core friend was the cat i adopted to keep me company.

2. i’m addicted to kristen bell, one tree hill and a shit ton of other things i should’ve already adored in 2007: not really much to add to this one. i’m in love with a bunch of teenybopper tv shows that i should’ve probably loved when they debuted five or so years ago.

3. i rediscovered the gym and lost all that i-hate-my-life-so-i’m-gonna-move-across-the-country weight: sure, i’ve rediscovered cookies for lunch and i’m slowly starting to gain it back. but at one point, i lost it and i will hold onto that FOREVER.

4. i got my nose pierced — at a rock concert no less. sorry, mommy. i guess i’m just a 26-year-old rebel child at heart.

5. i found out it IS possible to find cheap rent in the d.c. area. but when you live in a house with a bunch of party girls, you will still drain your wallet. at least it’s way more fun than paying pet rent.

6. i’m not a good dancer. i’ve always thought this might be the case, but i now know for certain that i’m not. it doesn’t stop me from trying, though.

7. flying cross-country makes me sick. but it won’t stop me from squeezing in a long weekend from home (or california) and taking the red-eye back before work on monday.

8. i miss learning and kinda want to go back to school. two years ago, i just wanted to take italian classes. now, i want my masters’ degree. i just need to decide which master’s degree. did you know there are literally thousands to choose from? well, there are. i also need to fall into a pile of money to pay for said masters’ degree.

9. i’ve quadrupled the amount of weddings i’ve attended. and weddings are a lot more fun than they used to be, now that the newlyweds are almost always people i know really well. plus, an excuse to buy a new dress , an open bar and free food don’t hurt…

10. i’m still indecisive, stubborn and passive aggressive — the difference is, i no longer deny it. love me or hate me, some things may never change. also, i’m still obsessed with my cat. deal with it.



so, the snow storm came.

(that’s what she said.)

in all seriousness, i completely doubted that the snOMG/snowmageoddeon/whatever-clever-snow-related-name-you-may-have-called-it-on-twitter was going to hit the D.C. area. in the three years i’ve lived here, i’ve learned a few things — Virginia is not the same as D.C.;  drinking is much more socially acceptable on the East Coast; and even the most minor of snow predictions will create pandemonium,  leading to a rapid depletion of eggs, milk and toilet paper in all local grocery stores.

call me a cynic, but i mocked the panic all day. i had a holiday party to attend that night and nothing was going to get in my way.

and it didn’t. i definitely celebrated that night — i celebrated so hard that by the time it started snowing, i didn’t even realize how fast it was accumulating until i was facedown sobbing in it at the end of the night because i couldn’t catch a cab back to virginia and my boots were definitely not ice proof.

it’s a long, torrid, emotional tale, but after a two-hour walk/metro ride home, i fell through the door, tackled my roommate and didn’t leave the safety net of my house for 72 hours.

and now i know i will be first in line for eggs, milk and toilet paper during next week’s predicted snow showers.



i’m not going to write about snow…

… but i will write about what a pain it’s going to be to get anything done in d.c. over the weekend.

i haven’t done any x-mas shopping. none. zilch.

this isn’t out of the ordinary. i’ve been perfecting procrastination since the early 90s, and buying things for other people is just one of those tasks i put off. not because i don’t like giving gifts — i LOVE giving gifts when i know someone will actually like them. no, i put it off because i get completely panicky and anxious that someone will hate something i put way too much effort into buying just for them. (i’m not great with rejection.)

so here i am, tummy churning, head spinning with too many not-so-great ideas — and i (supposedly) won’t be able to leave my house this weekend. so the shopping will be delayed yet again. and once again, santa flippy’s sleigh of goodies will arrive too late for christmas. and this just makes me even more panicky and anxious-y and scatterbrained-y — not only will i end up buying something my friends and family members will hate, but i’ll also disappoint them with my perpetual tardiness.

also, i’m out of kitty litter. which means my cat’s going to hate me this christmas, too.



violent tendencies
December 17, 2009, 11:50 am
Filed under: fear and loathing, work and play | Tags: , ,

today, i has them. who wants to be my punching bag?

i would settle for hug. (a hug in which i will “accidentally” squeeze too hard and then maybe kick you in the shin.)