Flipflops in the Rain


vino fueled know-it-all…

you know you’re getting old when you choose to stay home on a friday night and go to bed before 11 — TWO FRIDAYS IN A ROW. (scratch that. THREE. but i blame the snow for the third.)

you know you watch too much TV when you have seen every rerun on every channel.

you know you’re right when you say “ugh, Katherine Heigl SUCKS!!!”

you know you’re not a “real” american if you only choose to watch the olympics when someone else puts it on — or when you STILL don’t really care about curling or know what it is, even though it’s apparently the new cool american thing to do to act like you’re obsessed with it.

you know you’re a traditionalist when you love all types of wine, but you go back to the same ol’ riesling every single time.

you know you’re a lightweight when you’ve only had one teeny, tiny glass of said riesling and your eyes are crossing and you catch yourself rambling about nothing.

you know you’re an emotional lightweight when you’ve only had two teeny, tiny glasses and you start sobbing during Kell on Earth* because OMG SHE’S AN AMAZING BOSS when really? she’s terrifying. TERRIFYING!

*can we talk about this show for a minute? she’s seriously terrifying, but i can’t stop watching. her personality is so incredibly intimidating and I’m so glad i don’t work for her, but i think i want to be her! she inspires me to embrace my inner bitch slash genius.



i need more sparkle in my life

the gaga concert was fantastic. and sequiny. it made me want to drop everything and become a fun-loving, international pop star. except i lack the necessary singing/dancing/entertaining skills and the interesting yet tragic back story. so maybe i’ll just drop everything and go shopping at forever 21 for metallic leggings and feathery headbands.

but i don’t get to go shopping. because i’m brokety, broke, broke. so the shine in my life must come from cheaper alternatives.

enter home-brewed coffee with a dash of pumpkin pie spice to replace my much-anticipated fall favorite bevvy at starbucks. a library card to fuel my literary genius side. home manicures instead of fancy pampering sessions. ratty highlights with a solid three inches of dirty blonde roots. three-buck chuck in the comfort of my home vs. $45 bottles at fancy restaurants. cup o noodle and saltines for lunch.

all of these changes to my routine — all these sacrifices — and i’m still doing the paycheck-to-paycheck dance.

ah, the life of luxury and glitter.  why must you be so alluring, yet so impossible to achieve?