Flipflops in the Rain

SADness and lethargy
October 28, 2009, 6:59 pm
Filed under: fear and loathing, perfectly impossible | Tags: , , , , , ,

i could go on and on linking to previous posts about how much i hate the fall/winter, bad weather and overall mood-swinginess i suffer from four to six months out of the year, but i won’t. (well, that’s a lie. i spent about five minutes doing it.)

for four to six months out of the year, i ache. i cough. i whine. i sleep. repeat.

i eat. i laze. i bitch. i sleep. repeat.

i lack creativity. i lack motivation. i lack hope.

FOR FOUR TO SIX MONTHS OUT OF THE YEAR. that’s pathetic. and unacceptable. and i’m ready to turn it around.

but i can’t figure out how. (see above.)

i know that exercise leads to energy — but i can only muster the energy to work out one to two times a week. (the second workout usually consist of lazy-girl’s yoga, which means i spend 10 minutes stretching and rolling around on the floor while my cat stares at me in confusion.)

i know waking up first thing in the morning and ignoring the snooze button increases this much-needed energy, but gawd! that extra 20 minutes of sleep feels sooo good and my bed is sooo toasty.

i know caffeine ultimately depletes my body’s power, but i can’t function like a normal human without it.

i know a lot of things about this disease they call SAD, but i don’t know where to start the recovery process. if someone has some tips, i sure could use them.

also, i lack so much creativity that i just used thesaurus.com far too many times.

not coming back to the dark side.
March 2, 2008, 9:28 pm
Filed under: work and play | Tags: , , ,

i’m working a late-night shift this week. this shift used to be a piece of cake for me — in fact, i worked it for about a year and a half when i lived out West.

no longer is it cake, tho. it’s not even stale carrot cake with super-hard frosting. pretty sure it’s damn near impossible for me to work this shift. i have another 6 hours of trying to be productive and I’m already falling asleep on my keyboard.

(The saddest part is that it’s only 9. I think I’ve aged 50 years since my vampire days.)


i’ve lately taken to trying to analyze my dreams. i guess you could call it a new hobby if repeatedly googling “dream analysis” counts as a productive recreational pastime.

for about a year now, i’ve been having vivid dreams that associate my everyday stressors with my subconscious thoughts. this isn’t incredibly weird on its own — i’ve had a stressful and life-changing year. i’ve grown, i’ve stumbled and i’ve learned. Ish.

Anywayz, i’ve had a few dreams that have recently stuck out — the dreaded naked dream and the creepy seeing-my-own-death dream — which encouraged me to pursue the meaning of my recurring “being chased” dream*:

Chase dreams may represent your way of coping with fears, stress or various situations in your waking life. Instead of confronting the situation, you are running away and avoiding it…. One may be consumed by their own anger, jealousy, love, or self-destructive behavior. For example, you may be drinking too much or exhibiting open hostility toward others around you. You may subconsciously be threatened by these actions which have been jeopardizing your relationships and/or career. Your dreams are a way of calling attention to these self-destructive actions.

So I’m an angry and overly anxious alcoholic who’s subconsciously destroying everything in her path? Tell me I’m reading the wrong Google results…

*Recurring may be a bit of a stretch. While the theme has stayed the same year after year — someone or something is after me — the setup of these dreams drastically varies each time.

i take it back…

Pithy, you win. Early mornings blow.

5:05 a.m.: Cat threatens to cough up hairball on face. Works much better than an alarm clock.

5:45 a.m.: About to throw this Jimmy CD out the window. Need to update music collection.

5:46 a.m.: Realize I’m going 85 on the Beltway and still being tailgated.

6:02 a.m.: Realize I’m at work and I’ve been on autopilot for most of the morning.

6:03 a.m.: Co-worker greets me with, “We have a reeeeeallly angry customer.”

7:09 a.m.: Finished first cup of coffee. Need three more.

7:10 a.m.: How have I only been here an hour??

lazy sunday
October 21, 2007, 2:52 pm
Filed under: perfectly impossible, the cat's meow | Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

sleep till noon thirty. throw on sweats. lie in bed all day. cuddle with the fluffball. catch up on my shows. possibly eat. possibly nap. possibly clean. ignore my cell phone. ignore time.

i’m glad myself and i have an unspoken rule about not doing anything productive on sundays.