Flipflops in the Rain


numb.
January 18, 2008, 4:33 pm
Filed under: family first, fear and loathing, perfectly impossible | Tags: , , ,

it’s probably not politically correct to say i feel like i’ve been hit by a truck after hearing about the death of a family friend. but i’m not feeling great, that’s for sure, so words of sensitivity and delicacy are not exactly flowing right now. words of nonsense are really all i’ve got.

i feel distracted and drained. physically and emotionally exhausted after 12 hours of sleep. confused as to why i’m taking things so hard.

death is a funny thing. not funny-haha, of course, but funny-irrational-interesting-insane. you feel guilty for laughing. you feel ashamed for bursting into tears in public. you feel like you need to change your ways so you “get the most out of life.” you feel completely displaced from reality. memories that you didn’t even know you had start flashing in front of you. a montage of clips cloud your vision — the murder mystery party, the horrible dancing at the horrible hick bars, the broken cell phone, the whispered neighborhood gossip, the bursts of laughter — and all of a sudden, that person is more a part of your life than she ever was when she was alive.

my sister’s friend and neighbor passed away in her sleep yesterday — causes unknown. she was too young, too fun and too pretty. she found me adorable and hysterical. her stories were always too elaborate, but entertaining nonetheless. her house was beautifully decorated, her husband was still in love with her, and her dog was the sweetest lil thing. she wasn’t perfect by any stretch, but i’d like to remember her as if she were.

and that’s why death is so funny. because the imperfections of people evaporate overnight and you only remember the good. because you suddenly realize the amazing impact these people have had on your life. because you wish you’d appreciated them more while they were still here.

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forty six: sarah jane.
December 8, 2007, 6:58 pm
Filed under: 24 words, bestest friends | Tags: , , , , ,

makeovers and painting your walls are among my favorite childhood memories. i’m glad we overcame our differences to accept each other as friends again.

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forty three: melis.
December 5, 2007, 8:17 pm
Filed under: 24 words, bestest friends | Tags: , , , ,

we’ve grown apart over the years, but i’ll always remember our awesome inside jokes. i can’t wait to eat sorbet with my social 6!

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thirty eight: mike d.
November 26, 2007, 8:23 pm
Filed under: 24 words, family first, perfectly impossible | Tags: , , , , ,

being so close with you always drove your brother crazy.

probably the reason we became friends in the first place and aren’t really anymore.

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twenty four: justin.
November 12, 2007, 5:54 pm
Filed under: 24 words | Tags: , , ,

hadn’t thought about you in years and all of a sudden, there you were — married with baby, but as mischievous and goofy as always.

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fourteen: brandy sue.
November 2, 2007, 5:57 pm
Filed under: 24 words, bestest friends | Tags: , , ,

you texted me out of the blue last week and so many memories came flooding back. we definitely need to get together again soon.

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three: anna.

our gossipfests, complete with red wine, Carrie Bradshaw and giggling, made senior year so much more tolerable. i miss you, honey!