Flipflops in the Rain


SADness and lethargy
October 28, 2009, 6:59 pm
Filed under: fear and loathing, perfectly impossible | Tags: , , , , , ,

i could go on and on linking to previous posts about how much i hate the fall/winter, bad weather and overall mood-swinginess i suffer from four to six months out of the year, but i won’t. (well, that’s a lie. i spent about five minutes doing it.)

for four to six months out of the year, i ache. i cough. i whine. i sleep. repeat.

i eat. i laze. i bitch. i sleep. repeat.

i lack creativity. i lack motivation. i lack hope.

FOR FOUR TO SIX MONTHS OUT OF THE YEAR. that’s pathetic. and unacceptable. and i’m ready to turn it around.

but i can’t figure out how. (see above.)

i know that exercise leads to energy — but i can only muster the energy to work out one to two times a week. (the second workout usually consist of lazy-girl’s yoga, which means i spend 10 minutes stretching and rolling around on the floor while my cat stares at me in confusion.)

i know waking up first thing in the morning and ignoring the snooze button increases this much-needed energy, but gawd! that extra 20 minutes of sleep feels sooo good and my bed is sooo toasty.

i know caffeine ultimately depletes my body’s power, but i can’t function like a normal human without it.

i know a lot of things about this disease they call SAD, but i don’t know where to start the recovery process. if someone has some tips, i sure could use them.

also, i lack so much creativity that i just used thesaurus.com far too many times.



is it still bragging if i’m eating cupcakes for dinner?

last night, i got a facebook comment from denver married friend: “You better stop bragging about all your gym going…remember…i could still kick your ass.” well that left me feeling kinda like an asshole. not because of the bragging (my consistent gym-going this past 9 months is probably my biggest accomplishment in about 20-some odd years), but because all i’ve been doing for the past week is talking about cupcakey deliciousness with pithy.

you see, my dear friend pithy will be starting grad school tomorrow at the prestigious Georgetown University (make sure to go give her a written pat on the back). while i’m extremely excited for her, i’m more excited that this will lead to even more motivation toward her dedication to bringing in yummy goodies to the office because two days a week, she’ll be mere blocks away from the notoriously tasty and popular…. georgetown cupcake!

since making this discovery, we’ve been going on and on about the variety of cupcakes we’ll be trying — chocolate banana, lemon berry, lava judge… i’ve even picked my birthday cupcake of choice from their list of monthly selections (April 3, white choc raz, thankyouverymuch). i’ve never even tried their cupcakes, but something tells me i’ll be eating them weekly until pithy graduates.

…and long story short, i’m over the asshole-ness feeling i was feeling, and i will continue bragging about my awesomely rockstar gym-going-ness via facebook and twitter. it’s not bragging if i’m still fluffy.



bridesmaid boot camp and other out-of-date updates

i’m in the office on a saturday, and it’s not the worst thing in the world (although visions of bill lumberg are dancing in my head). in fact, i finally have time for some bloggy TLC.

i worked out five times this week. it’s become less of a chore and more of a way to unwind. (i think i’m addicted to my gym’s sauna.) with that said, i’m not losing any weight after nine solid weeks of quitting chik fil a and co. this wouldn’t be such a bad thing (i’m only a lil round), but i have to squeeze into an already-too-snug bridesmaid dress in less than a month. said dress is 3,000 miles away from me, so I don’t exactly have time to get it altered before the big day. (is it sad that i’m this stressed about a big day that’s not even *my* big day? the bride thinks it’s pretty sad…)

anyway, long story short, i’m not giving up on this workout kick no matter what kind of bad news mr. scale wants to throw my way. i feel better, right? (insert eye roll here.)

i did have to give up my dreams of becoming a championship boxer, though. after my free class (which was awesome), i would’ve had to purchase a membership to continue. unfortunately for my wallet, a membership costs $75/month with a minimum 12-month commitment — excluding the additional costs for equipment. sigh. guess i’ll have to stick to less conventional means of drunkenly wrestling with my friends (yes, plural. sorry, wools — you’re no longer the last person i beat up).

non-related somewhat noteworthy topics:

last weekend, i went to the beach. next weekend, i’m going to the beach. next year, i think i’ll move to the beach. in the meantime, i’m looking past the scattered thunderstorms to a summer filled with enjoying this.

i got a crackberry. picture me mobile blogging.

i heart chuck klosterman. i just started “IV: a decade of curious people and dangerous minds,” which begins with an essay about britney circa 2003 — how could i not heart him? seriously, though, his books are hilarious. (yes, i’m the creepy girl laughing out loud while she reads in public.) do yourself a favor and go buy “killing yourself to live” right this instant.

i just found out my dad reads my blog. (hi, daddy!) this is still nowhere near as bad as when he and my mom joined facebook. or as bad as the last family vacation we all took together, but that’s an entirely different story that i’ll probably never tell.

my phobia of raccoons has become ridiculously exploited. i guess this is what i get for having ridiculous phobias.

speaking of ridiculous, i’ve been ridiculously boring in my weeks of silence, and i think that’s all the updates i’ve got for ya. i’ve even toned down my drinking in the wake of my bridesmaid bootcamp activities, so the embarrassing stories that i usually don’t publicly write about are pretty much nil. (seriously, pithy — that bucket o wine was a myth.)



flippy ali

i’m going boxing tonight! i’m mildly nervous, but i have a (very, very, very) light background in martial arts and kickboxing (as in, i took a few rec classes in college), so it shouldn’t be toooo bad.

my main goal with this class is to find an extracurricular activity i can be passionate about — other than heavily drinking on the weekends. i went through a big yoga phase a couple months ago, but i’ve been finding it hard to motivate myself to attend classes lately (including the free twice-a-weeks my work provides at lunchtime). i’d say the best way to fall in love with a sport is to fall in love with the instructor’s teaching style. i’ve unfortunately not had great luck in the yoga department. whyyyyy would a “peaceful”, “soothing” yoga instructor feel the need to scream out the poses? i didn’t skip my lunch for boot camp — i skipped to unwind and forget about annoying customers. boxing, on the other hand… i *want* to be yelled at. i *want* to fight and kick ass.

if nothing else, this is probably a much more efficient way of getting out my aggression than stupid yoga.



get in my belly!

i know you’re all dying to know how my fast food fast is going. weeeeelll. it’s going.

the problem with my new “diet” (three weeks tomorrow — yea!) is that i’m always, always hungry. Usually, pre-fast, gorging on a chikin sandwich and milkshake would fill me up for most the day. Now, i’m eating trail mix by the gallon, drooling over thoughts of Mexican food and wasting loads of money on snack foods for my desk (the rationale being that i won’t pop over to chik fil a or taco bell if i have enough food at my desk). even as i’m writing this, my eyes are wandering over to the box of triscuits. i’m. not. even. HUNGRY.

someone help me. how do i curb these cravings?

oh, yeah. and gym at least once a week? fail. how can i gym it when i’m bogged down by all this excess salty snack weight?



endorphins make you happy!

i’m so proud of myself it makes me wanna puke:
i went to the gym last night. for two hours (ish).

and i rocked. (well, i rocked harder than most out-of-shape, slightly round, lazy lil ladies out there.) i ran, i biked (i hate biking), i stretched. and THEN i sweated out all my toxins in the sauna.

and i loved it. (literally — cloud nine all night, which is saying a lot considering the funk i was in the rest of the day because of the rain.)

and i plan to go back tonight. as a reformed tomboy/athlete, i always forget how much i enjoy the overwhelming serenity of a good workout. again, if i just put it out there on the internet, i now have some form of accountability.

on that note, day four of no fast food. amber and i have joined together in the fight against chik fil a. (restaurants with no drive-thru’s don’t count.)



if i say it on the internet, i guess i have to do it…

… i’m going to the gym tonight.

i’m going to the gym tonight, and i’m going to like it. i’m going to run, i’m going to sweat, and i’m going to make my muscles scream at me.

and i’m going to start going three times a week at least once a week.

and i’m going to forget chik fil a exists.

and if the Caps win tonight (WHEN! WHEN the Caps win tonight!) and my roommate tries to get me to go out drinking to celebrate, i’m not going to do it.

i’m not going to drink and i’m going to the gym and i’m no longer eating chikin and i’m going to like my decision on all counts.

there. i said it. so now i gotta do it.



hodge podge o’ fun

as promised, i’ve been fairly silent since the beginning of april. that doesn’t mean my life has been the same.

since we last met:

– my quarter century mark passed without a hitch. (well, at least, i don’t remember much of a hitch. rumor has it i did fall face first into a cat-piss-covered futon at an apartment just outside of denver after throwing back shots of tequila and yelling at my friend for paying more attention to a trio of creepy men than her Royal Birthdayness.)

– speaking of denver, it’s gorgeous there. i miss mountains.

– took a work trip back to my homeland where i tried to squeeze in seeing all the people i love (except poem, who makes it a point to avoid the office when i’m around), several hours of meetings and planning sessions, frequenting martini bars and other haunts of my past, and catching up on sleep. excedrin pm is my new best friend.

– i got me another “al castle rocks” t-shirt. (be jealous.) actually, got me another three “al castle rocks” t-shirts because, in classic al castle form, the genius behind the t-shirt wasn’t sure what size i am now since i’ve surely gained weight since he last saw me.

– i had my first bridesmaid breakdown for the wedding i’m in this summer. after hopping from plane to plane and driving up and down washington state, earlier-mentioned denver friend’s mother made me burst into tears after i showed up two hours late to a bridal shower i wasn’t even supposed to be at — further proof that weddings are the devil and that i should not be forced into familial obligations when i’m jet-lagged, cranky and retardedly hungover.

– april 15. tax day. need i say more? well, i will. virginia tax day is coming up, too, and my bank account is quickly dwindling. my new year’s resolution isn’t going so well.

– my newer resolution to cut back on the chik fil a and get back into shape is also not going so well. i think if you take the time to sign up for a gym membership, you should automatically lose 5 pounds for showing initiative. that would be a much better motivator than the weekly “you’re-a-fat-ass” e-mails they send me.

– Pithy and i went to Shecky’s Girls Night Out. For $25, we got free goody bags and samples. The goody bags were pretty much worth it (i now have a lifetime supply of shampoo and lotions), but the next time i pay money for “free food and beverages” i’d better get more than a lean cuisine topped off by a drop of vodka — especially when i venture into a high-brow city event with the plague i carried back from the pacific northwest. (my apologies now to any lovely ladies i may have infected with my whooping cough.) i did, however, help convince Miss Pith to throw a Slumber Party. should make for a rollickingly inappropriate good time.

– i’ve gone back to my roots quite literally. it’s been four years since i decided i’d had enough of my over-possessive blonde-loving college boyfriend and grabbed my first box of auburn-brown dye. my love affair with the dark side continued through my lindsay lohan girl-crush days and on, ’til i fell for kristen bell’s blonde pixie cut. which brings me to today. i’m blonde again.

– i joined a co-ed softball team, which plays its first game on Wednesday. although i grew up playing the sport, i haven’t thrown, caught or hit a ball in about eight years and i’m absolutely terrified. i joined this so-called “drinking league” after being promised no one would be too competitive and i’d get lots of free beer. 16 THOUSAND e-mails later, i’m convinced these were just lies to get more women on the team so they wouldn’t have to forfeit.

– two tornadoes touched down in maryland last night. ummmm, excuse me?? they have tornadoes in maryland? whose idea was it to move east again? where’s the sunshine and humidity i signed up for?



i’m here, but i’m really gone.

i’ve been MIA lately, as I’ve been turning my attention away from my (craptastic) computer and toward spiritual enlightenment and personal well-being. I’ve joined a gym, bought some books and vowed to start eating healthier.

Instead, I’ve gone to the gym twice and become obsessed with sitting on my (roommate’s) new couch while watching TV shows that other people have long since preached about: Grey’s Anatomy, Brothers and Sisters, Gilmore Girls… I can’t pull myself away from my (roommate’s) new flat-screen in the living room — unless, of course, to grab a glass of wine, beer or some other form of liquid deliciousness. I’ve also managed to get some much-deserved retail therapy* in as the sweet, sweet, remaining hours of my early 20s rapidly diminish.**

So as you can see, I’ve been extremely busy lately. I apologize for the lack of updates and warn you that they’ll probably be even further and far between these next few weeks as I hop back and forth across the country.

*In the throes of my impending quarter-life crisis, I apparently decided to buy $40 lip gloss. Please do not let me give this lip gloss away to a homeless person in lieu of cash. (it’s strangely enough been known to happen.)

** Please also do not hurt me for insinuating that life is over at 25. I know most of my readers are part of the walking dead and still in denial about it. I’m just helping you come to terms with it. We can be here for each other in this time of darkness.