Flipflops in the Rain


wanted: extremely patient assistant to fix my phone and tell me when to eat
January 5, 2010, 4:35 pm
Filed under: fear and loathing, geek chic | Tags: , , , ,

i’m pretty sure i should hire a personal assistant.

granted, i don’t have any money, and i can get really bitchy and/or whiny when i haven’t slept. but basically, i really need someone to take on the full-time job of making sure i act like a grown-up.

example: i don’t eat when i should. and when i do eat, i make poor choices. for instance, i’m sitting here, shaking because i’m so hungry, but instead of doing the responsible thing and making a sandwich, i’m blogging about it. (if you’re in the neighborhood, turkey on rye with a wee bit of mayo. thanks.)

another example: i don’t do errands. one of the main reasons i’m not eating (besides pure laziness) is because i need to go grocery shopping. i’ve needed to for about three weeks. i went before christmas, but only so i could buy six bottles of wine and a case of cheese dip.

the grocery shopping isn’t my biggest concern right now. that’s why they invented “pizza delivery” and “fast food.” no, my biggest concern is that my blackberry committed suicide this weekend and i needed to order a new one and i now have to fedex the original blackberry back to my phone company. WHAT?! how do i even begin to fedex something? don’t i already have enough to worry about with the whole phone-breaking-and-i-can’t-update-my-twitter-every-15-seconds thing and trying to figure out how to activate the replacement phone? and can someone please tell me how to back-up all my contacts when i don’t have access to the network? this is all far too complicated. i’ve managed to download five different programs and i’m nowhere closer to transferring my contacts from one phone to another.

(if you knew that i worked in a tech center, your brain would probably explode at my sheer incompetence with this phone debacle.)

so, yeah. if you’re looking for a new job that doesn’t pay well (or at all), requires a high tolerance for dealing with bitchy, sleep-deprived idiots and starts within the next 10 days (because that’s how long i have to fedex this stupid thing), call me! no, wait. e-mail me. god damn phone.



fourteen: brandy sue.
November 2, 2007, 5:57 pm
Filed under: 24 words, bestest friends | Tags: , , ,

you texted me out of the blue last week and so many memories came flooding back. we definitely need to get together again soon.

Comments Off on fourteen: brandy sue.


you know you’re getting old when…
November 1, 2007, 9:09 pm
Filed under: family first, perfectly impossible | Tags: , , , , ,

a. your niece turns 11 and you catch yourself saying things like “i remember the day you were born.”
b. your now-11-year-old niece gets a cell phone for her birthday and you catch yourself saying things like “isn’t she a bit young for a cell phone?!”

but seriously. what 11-year-old needs a cell phone?



lazy sunday
October 21, 2007, 2:52 pm
Filed under: perfectly impossible, the cat's meow | Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

sleep till noon thirty. throw on sweats. lie in bed all day. cuddle with the fluffball. catch up on my shows. possibly eat. possibly nap. possibly clean. ignore my cell phone. ignore time.

i’m glad myself and i have an unspoken rule about not doing anything productive on sundays.