Flipflops in the Rain


bridesmaid boot camp and other out-of-date updates

i’m in the office on a saturday, and it’s not the worst thing in the world (although visions of bill lumberg are dancing in my head). in fact, i finally have time for some bloggy TLC.

i worked out five times this week. it’s become less of a chore and more of a way to unwind. (i think i’m addicted to my gym’s sauna.) with that said, i’m not losing any weight after nine solid weeks of quitting chik fil a and co. this wouldn’t be such a bad thing (i’m only a lil round), but i have to squeeze into an already-too-snug bridesmaid dress in less than a month. said dress is 3,000 miles away from me, so I don’t exactly have time to get it altered before the big day. (is it sad that i’m this stressed about a big day that’s not even *my* big day? the bride thinks it’s pretty sad…)

anyway, long story short, i’m not giving up on this workout kick no matter what kind of bad news mr. scale wants to throw my way. i feel better, right? (insert eye roll here.)

i did have to give up my dreams of becoming a championship boxer, though. after my free class (which was awesome), i would’ve had to purchase a membership to continue. unfortunately for my wallet, a membership costs $75/month with a minimum 12-month commitment — excluding the additional costs for equipment. sigh. guess i’ll have to stick to less conventional means of drunkenly wrestling with my friends (yes, plural. sorry, wools — you’re no longer the last person i beat up).

non-related somewhat noteworthy topics:

last weekend, i went to the beach. next weekend, i’m going to the beach. next year, i think i’ll move to the beach. in the meantime, i’m looking past the scattered thunderstorms to a summer filled with enjoying this.

i got a crackberry. picture me mobile blogging.

i heart chuck klosterman. i just started “IV: a decade of curious people and dangerous minds,” which begins with an essay about britney circa 2003 — how could i not heart him? seriously, though, his books are hilarious. (yes, i’m the creepy girl laughing out loud while she reads in public.) do yourself a favor and go buy “killing yourself to live” right this instant.

i just found out my dad reads my blog. (hi, daddy!) this is still nowhere near as bad as when he and my mom joined facebook. or as bad as the last family vacation we all took together, but that’s an entirely different story that i’ll probably never tell.

my phobia of raccoons has become ridiculously exploited. i guess this is what i get for having ridiculous phobias.

speaking of ridiculous, i’ve been ridiculously boring in my weeks of silence, and i think that’s all the updates i’ve got for ya. i’ve even toned down my drinking in the wake of my bridesmaid bootcamp activities, so the embarrassing stories that i usually don’t publicly write about are pretty much nil. (seriously, pithy — that bucket o wine was a myth.)



hodge podge o’ fun

as promised, i’ve been fairly silent since the beginning of april. that doesn’t mean my life has been the same.

since we last met:

– my quarter century mark passed without a hitch. (well, at least, i don’t remember much of a hitch. rumor has it i did fall face first into a cat-piss-covered futon at an apartment just outside of denver after throwing back shots of tequila and yelling at my friend for paying more attention to a trio of creepy men than her Royal Birthdayness.)

– speaking of denver, it’s gorgeous there. i miss mountains.

– took a work trip back to my homeland where i tried to squeeze in seeing all the people i love (except poem, who makes it a point to avoid the office when i’m around), several hours of meetings and planning sessions, frequenting martini bars and other haunts of my past, and catching up on sleep. excedrin pm is my new best friend.

– i got me another “al castle rocks” t-shirt. (be jealous.) actually, got me another three “al castle rocks” t-shirts because, in classic al castle form, the genius behind the t-shirt wasn’t sure what size i am now since i’ve surely gained weight since he last saw me.

– i had my first bridesmaid breakdown for the wedding i’m in this summer. after hopping from plane to plane and driving up and down washington state, earlier-mentioned denver friend’s mother made me burst into tears after i showed up two hours late to a bridal shower i wasn’t even supposed to be at — further proof that weddings are the devil and that i should not be forced into familial obligations when i’m jet-lagged, cranky and retardedly hungover.

– april 15. tax day. need i say more? well, i will. virginia tax day is coming up, too, and my bank account is quickly dwindling. my new year’s resolution isn’t going so well.

– my newer resolution to cut back on the chik fil a and get back into shape is also not going so well. i think if you take the time to sign up for a gym membership, you should automatically lose 5 pounds for showing initiative. that would be a much better motivator than the weekly “you’re-a-fat-ass” e-mails they send me.

– Pithy and i went to Shecky’s Girls Night Out. For $25, we got free goody bags and samples. The goody bags were pretty much worth it (i now have a lifetime supply of shampoo and lotions), but the next time i pay money for “free food and beverages” i’d better get more than a lean cuisine topped off by a drop of vodka — especially when i venture into a high-brow city event with the plague i carried back from the pacific northwest. (my apologies now to any lovely ladies i may have infected with my whooping cough.) i did, however, help convince Miss Pith to throw a Slumber Party. should make for a rollickingly inappropriate good time.

– i’ve gone back to my roots quite literally. it’s been four years since i decided i’d had enough of my over-possessive blonde-loving college boyfriend and grabbed my first box of auburn-brown dye. my love affair with the dark side continued through my lindsay lohan girl-crush days and on, ’til i fell for kristen bell’s blonde pixie cut. which brings me to today. i’m blonde again.

– i joined a co-ed softball team, which plays its first game on Wednesday. although i grew up playing the sport, i haven’t thrown, caught or hit a ball in about eight years and i’m absolutely terrified. i joined this so-called “drinking league” after being promised no one would be too competitive and i’d get lots of free beer. 16 THOUSAND e-mails later, i’m convinced these were just lies to get more women on the team so they wouldn’t have to forfeit.

– two tornadoes touched down in maryland last night. ummmm, excuse me?? they have tornadoes in maryland? whose idea was it to move east again? where’s the sunshine and humidity i signed up for?