Flipflops in the Rain


as my favorite boy band would say, ‘bye bye bye’

if all goes well, i’m on a plane with my (drugged-up) cat, and i’m headed back to washington state, and we’re both peacefully sleeping in anticipation of a long week of settling into our new home.

if all goes horribly, horribly wrong, i’m at the airport with my (whiny, hungry, angry and drugged-up) cat, and i’m hoping the flight’s not delayed for too much longer because i’m emotionally drained, and people are glaring at me, and i just want a drink, but it’s too early and it’s weird to bring a cat into the airport bar.

either way, my time as a virginia resident has come to a close.



i avoided the cliche postal service reference here — you’re welcome.

the movers are here. they’re packing up my stuff, and i’m blogging and watching step 2 and trying not to cry.

i’ve been able to keep my emotions in check a lot better than i ever would’ve expected during the past few weeks (minus the incident where i threw my jack down and fled the room at my birthday party this weekend, but that’s beside the point). i attribute this to the fact that i’m incredibly excited to begin a new adventure and that i’m confident that moving back west is the best decision for me at the moment. i also attribute it to the fact that i have the most amazing, wonderful, awesome friends in d.c., and they’ve held my hand every step of the way.

but now, it’s just me and my cat and some anonymous movers and lots of cardboard boxes in a house that’s echoing from the emptiness on the walls. the move is finally real. and i’m really, really sad.

d.c., i’ll miss you and the cherry blossoms and the thunderstorms and the brunches and the dance parties and even the super-annoying tourists. but because some of the best people in the world still live here, i know i’ll be back to visit soon. and for that, i’m really, really happy.

/end emoliciousness. (and pithy/coffeeonwheels, i didn’t cry while writing this. fyi.)



single digits

only another 9 days until my tenure in the d.c. area comes to a close. it seems unreal to be closing this chapter of my life, and i feel like lots of tears will be shed (and lots of tequila will be consumed) in the next couple days.

my brain is a whirlwindy mess of thoughts and i can’t really put together coherent thoughts and i’ve been nightmaring of raccoons as pets. i don’t know what kind of an omen that is, but i don’t like it.

look, flowers!



a conversation i’ve had with almost everyone in the past few weeks

so, i hear you’re leaving?
yup, i’m headed out at the beginning of april.

wow, where are you going?
oh, i’m heading back to the seattle area.

well, we’ll miss you. aren’t you going to miss ____________?
don’t be stupid. i’ve lived here for three years — of course i’m going to miss everyone and everything here! i’m really excited to get back to the northwest though.

what will you do for work? is your company moving you back or are you just going to wing it?
actually, neither. i’ve found an awesome new opportunity through some college friends, and i can’t wait to start on a new adventure.

oh, ok. so where will you be living?
ummmmmmmmm, with my parents for a few weeks/months. should be… fun?

and are you bringing your cat?
is this a real question? of course i’m bringing my cat! we’re shipping my car and household goods, then bizzi and i are flying across the country together.

wait, you’re taking your cat on the plane? will she even FIT on the plane?
as always, the fat jokes are unnecessary. yes, she’ll fit on the plane — she’ll even fit in my carry-on bag, underneath the seat in front of me.

you’d better drug her. that’s a long flight.
thank you for your concern. i’m well aware of the flight times between seattle and d.c.

so, wow. seattle. doesn’t it rain a lot there?
it has its moments, which i’m dreading, but i’m just stoked to be near my family and other loved ones again.

no, but seriously. don’t you get super depressed when it’s grey and wet and rainy?
*nods sheepishly*

that’s gonna suck.
yup. but at least i’m moving in the spring, which generally leads to a beautiful, less rainy summer.

so, are you gonna miss __________________?
don’t be stupid. i’ve lived here for three years — of course i’m going to miss everyone and everything here! i’m really excited to get back to the northwest though.

/rinse annnnnnnnnnnnd repeat.



home is where my family is…

… and that is in the Northwest.

i moved to the d.c. area on a whim three years ago. ok, that’s a lie. i moved here for my job, but that sounds a lot more boring.

while i loved the change in pace, the rush of adventure i got from moving 3,000 miles from everything i knew and loved, it took me a solid year to get my feet on the ground and build a foundation here. if you read through some of my first posts,  you’ll see that i was on a never-ending roller coaster. so much has changed since then. i’ve met so many wonderful, fantastic, amazingly awesome people who mean the world to me. but i was never meant to permanently live here.

so i’m doing something about it, and as the cherry blossoms bloom this april, i’ll be flying across the country on a one-way ticket home.



because you’re worth it
March 6, 2010, 2:14 pm
Filed under: perfectly impossible | Tags:

after emailing back and forth with another blogger yesterday, i realized that i don’t really share a lot about my life here. more or less, i share very high-level thoughts that don’t really matter in the grand scheme of things.

i don’t know that i’m ready to change that. but i do think enough people are reading now that i should at least ask — is there anything that i don’t talk about that you’d like me to? i’ve thought about joining formspring, but i don’t think my skin is thick enough for the anonymous, nasty comments… (seriously, some of the sweetest people get the rudest questions — and i am NOT that sweet, so i can only imagine.) also, ya know, not THAT many people are reading, and it would suck not to get any questions.

no one’s probably reading on a saturday, but if you are, hi. what do you want to know? i’m a little hungover and only wearing one sock, but other than that, i might be able to come up with some mildly sensical answers.



vino fueled know-it-all…

you know you’re getting old when you choose to stay home on a friday night and go to bed before 11 — TWO FRIDAYS IN A ROW. (scratch that. THREE. but i blame the snow for the third.)

you know you watch too much TV when you have seen every rerun on every channel.

you know you’re right when you say “ugh, Katherine Heigl SUCKS!!!”

you know you’re not a “real” american if you only choose to watch the olympics when someone else puts it on — or when you STILL don’t really care about curling or know what it is, even though it’s apparently the new cool american thing to do to act like you’re obsessed with it.

you know you’re a traditionalist when you love all types of wine, but you go back to the same ol’ riesling every single time.

you know you’re a lightweight when you’ve only had one teeny, tiny glass of said riesling and your eyes are crossing and you catch yourself rambling about nothing.

you know you’re an emotional lightweight when you’ve only had two teeny, tiny glasses and you start sobbing during Kell on Earth* because OMG SHE’S AN AMAZING BOSS when really? she’s terrifying. TERRIFYING!

*can we talk about this show for a minute? she’s seriously terrifying, but i can’t stop watching. her personality is so incredibly intimidating and I’m so glad i don’t work for her, but i think i want to be her! she inspires me to embrace my inner bitch slash genius.



all those things that aren’t perfect yet.

it’s pretty much february. that blows my mind. how has the first month of twenty-ten disappeared already?!

i’m making progress on bettering myself and making this MY year. it’s funny though — while i’m making improvements in certain areas of my life, i’m falling HARD off the wagon in others. balance, i’ve always lacked it.

i don’t want to jinx myself by listing the things i’ve done well in the past few weeks, so instead, i’ll do what i do best — berate myself for not being perfect:

perfect: never gonna happen. get over yourself, flippy.

gym: i miss you. it’s not you, it’s me. i’m lazy/busy. that might seem counterintuitive, but i assure you, it’s not. it’s just my life.

food: i spend way too much on food that’s way too bad for me. must. start. fast-food fast. AGAIN. must also start cooking because deep down, i know i can.

dentist: get one. immediately. book an appointment shortly after.

conan: stop crying about the whole nbc debacle (it’s been three weeks, after all) and start following coco’s words of wisdom. i’m becoming far too cynical and knowing he would be disappointed in me is kind of a tragedy.

writing: write more. write every day. write online. write in a journal. just write.

money: we’re getting there. slowly but surely, we’re getting there. eventually, we’ll be there.

travel: take the time and just go.

.



maybe now i’ll make it to the front page of google for ‘awesome short person in flip flops’

i had big important plans to post about my awesomely awesome weekend in san fran, but then my awesomely awesome travel partner pointed out that i’m the sixth result in google for “stupid short person in flip flops.”

my pride is wounded.

*update: now i’m the first result. SEO FAIL.
**update 2.0: BUT now i’m also the first result for “awesome short person in flip flops.” SEO SUCCESS!!



flippy through the years

i wasn’t going to post a 2009 wrap-up (because i’m an original, yo), but then i read phampants post from yesterday, and i figured i’d give it a whirl.

so here she is, flippy 2000-2009*:

2000: a junior in high school, and a bit of a disaster. i smashed my first car into a million pieces, got grounded for the first and only time (circumstances? not important — but it started with adult beverages and culminated with a list that my father forced me to write detailing everything bad i’d ever done. EVER.), hated my brother a little less, loved an impossible and unavailable boy a little more and visited a therapist who made me feel like a spoiled little princess who shouldn’t have felt as awful as she did.

2001: graduated high school and moved on to college. originally intended to move to california for school, but chickened out last minute and stayed in state. regretted the decision almost immediately. thank god for a kickass roommate and a bestie from home. i went from an outgoing honor student to a shy, uncomfortable freshman who napped all the time. (god, i miss napping all the time.)

2002: i met who i thought was the “love of my life” — and proceeded to cut everyone else out of it. five months later, he dumped me. then came crawling back. i took him back and began the cycle again. moved off campus with kickass roomie and bestie from home. worst experience ever. alienated both of them and rarely went home. got my groove back with school, but only because i took a bunch of classes with the boyfriend. (i was clearly a winner.)

2003: continued an abusive pattern of clinging to my boyfriend even as he was breaking my heart. moved into an apartment with kickass roomie even though i was still an asshole. got a job at the mall and slowly started making friends who lived in a world outside of my boyfriend’s. discovered the journalism program. hated it and many of the people in it. created an amazing idea as to how to get my BA in journalism with the least amount of effort possible.

2004: promptly crushed my amazing cheat-the-journa-system idea by joining the school paper’s editorial staff. loved the soul-crushing thrill of spending 50 hours a week in a dirty, cramped newsroom. stayed in a rapidly deteriorating relationship with a boy who continued to prove he wasn’t good enough for me. may or may not have fallen in love with someone else. realized something had to give and finally broke off the longest relationship of my life. the someone else moved away and the love that could’ve been never was. hated commitment and turned my back on it forever. turned 21 and drowned sorrows in too many vodka tonics. took too many classes and pushed myself to the limit in an effort to be my own person.

2005:  interned with a local nonprofit. finished college a quarter early. hopped a flight to europe and discovered the not-so-cheap thrill of living out of a backpack and speaking broken italian. quit my mall job and tried to stay abroad as long as possible. ran out of money after a month. begged mall job to take me back. let journa-friend convince me to apply for better job. received an offer for promotion at mall job and position at better job on the same day. went with better job, became a grown-up and began a crazy night-shift schedule that would continue for much longer than anticipated.

2006: continued living in college town. college friends moved on. rain, gloom and night surrounded my world and tempted me back into the arms of depression. considered options. decided to move to san diego on a whim. better job offered me a promotion and relocation package. moving somewhere new with a job appealed to me more than moving somewhere new without one. visited the d.c. area to make the final decision.

2007: made final decision. accepted promotion and moved 3,000 miles away. went through strange growing pains within new position, which ultimately led to a better position within the same company. pined and missed certain people more than i expected. adopted a cat. fell in love with the cat. became crazy cat lady. kept my distance from making new friends and invited old friends to visit whenever possible.

2008: moved into a new home with new people and began feeling comfortable for the first time. went out A LOT and discovered, “wow, i’m not 21 anymore.” went out anyway. continued to miss certain people and made several trips home. filled the void of missing by joining a gym. began running again. liked it. kept doing it. cat needed surgery. did not like that.

2009: a rough year. dealt with several issues that i left off this blog for a reason — hence my mid-year blogging hiatus. as the year comes to a close, i can’t think of any significant events to differentiate it from years past. at least, not yet. i’ve learned many things about myself through these hardships, though, and i’ve learned that i need to start looking out for myself first. and most of all, i’m realizing that my love of certain people, friends and family is more important than status or money. i just want to be happy.

*this post is so emo. my apologies.