Flipflops in the Rain


i need more sparkle in my life

the gaga concert was fantastic. and sequiny. it made me want to drop everything and become a fun-loving, international pop star. except i lack the necessary singing/dancing/entertaining skills and the interesting yet tragic back story. so maybe i’ll just drop everything and go shopping at forever 21 for metallic leggings and feathery headbands.

but i don’t get to go shopping. because i’m brokety, broke, broke. so the shine in my life must come from cheaper alternatives.

enter home-brewed coffee with a dash of pumpkin pie spice to replace my much-anticipated fall favorite bevvy at starbucks. a library card to fuel my literary genius side. home manicures instead of fancy pampering sessions. ratty highlights with a solid three inches of dirty blonde roots. three-buck chuck in the comfort of my home vs. $45 bottles at fancy restaurants. cup o noodle and saltines for lunch.

all of these changes to my routine — all these sacrifices — and i’m still doing the paycheck-to-paycheck dance.

ah, the life of luxury and glitter.  why must you be so alluring, yet so impossible to achieve?



i’ll be the girl backstage at your show…

you should know by now that i’m a teenage girl at heart.

therefore, it should be no surprise to you that i’m going to the lady gaga concert tonight and i’m SUPER STOKED!!!

now, let me just be a snooty music fan for a minute and point out that i’ve liked lady gaga since before it was cool to like lady gaga. i liked her when she had dark hair and the castlemonkey thought she was hot. i actually have vintage gaga in heavy rotation on my ipod, and i’ve been considering a gaga halloween costume since march (mostly because i don’t like wearing pants, but that’s beside the point).

but it wasn’t until her mtv movie awards performance that i got really excited to see her — she’s crazy and she’s nuts and it’s going to be fabulous show.

now watch her do the dirty dirty with hottie vampire eric and be excited with me:



public service announcement: britney still rocks

brit

booze, circus tricks, midgets and glitter — the girl knows how to win over a crowd.(although the alcohol consumption may have been self-inflicted.)

i’m not ashamed to say i am and always have been a die-hard britney spears fan, and i’m DEFINITELY not too proud to say i was at her show on Tuesday night (but no, I didn’t hear her say “Merry Christmas” — i was too busy singing/screaming/dancing along.). it was a raging good time and if you ever get a chance to see her perform — DO IT. you will not be disappointed. unless you’re there purely to hear live vocals — but let’s be honest. no one goes to a b. spears show to hear her pretty voice.

and no, the girl in that picture is not me — but i’d be lying if i said i didn’t plot to steal her awesomeness.



beers, boys and violence

i kinda heart hockey. it’s a relatively new discovery, but i totally rock the red whenever i can. I’ve found that this makes me really cool and starts lots of conversations (which is almost unfortunate, since I don’t really understand the rules other than puck goes in goal and, unlike soccer, you can check your opponents.) it also get me lots of free tickets — like tonight. i’m going to be sitting in the second row, center of the rink, and i’m TOTALLY STOKED!!!! i’m popping DR’s hockey cherry and i’m going to convert her into a hockey fan and we’re going to drink beer and it’s going to be TOTALLY AWESOME!!

Also, I was here*:

*and by here, i mean i missed the goal because i was too busy eating my hot dog and dropping my wallet 30 feet below the bleachers and i actually missed the whole thing. but the rest of the crowd enjoyed it quite a lot.



i have more than three toes, but i’m definitely a sloth.

i showered today. and then i promptly put on the same sweats i’ve been wearing for three days and settled onto the couch for a hard day of work and inauguration watching.

while many of my friends and co-workers risked their lives to metro into the city for the event, i selected to stay in. by now, you’ve prolly figured out that i no likey the bitter cold.

however, i really hate working from home.

i know, “boo hoo hoo, i can work anywhere that has an internet connection; woe is me, i can stay in my jammies all day” — but seriously. i feel like a sloth. when i shut down my computer at 5, all i want to do is crawl back into bed and sleep until morning. when i finally pull myself off the couch to eat, i grab something carby and disgusting. and the working out i was bragging about last week? yeah… no. haven’t done it since. the fact that i bathed this morning (granted, it was maybe 33 seconds long) is pretty amazing.

i’m actually thoroughly looking forward to going back into the office tomorrow.

i’m even more looking forward to NOT going into the office on Thursday and flying to denver to see lyd and conebone for a long, much-needed weekend* away.

*not that my weekends here have been bad lately — just really busy. having an awesome surprise guest, meeting up with an awesome not-surprise guest, helping DR move, eating lots of pizza, battling the tourists to get to the bloggerational ball in adam’s morgan where i met many fabulous d.c. bloggers who know how to drink and dance** — i’m ready for a relaxing weekend.

**sorry guys, there’s no way i can link to everyone. i spent the better half of yesterday updating my google reader to include everyone i met — there’s no way i could add links to this post without forgetting someone. i’d rather people didn’t find out what a jerk i am just yet… it was fantastic to meet such truly funny and fun people. Thanks for a great time!



merry christmas, you filthy animal…

i just opened the last box on my advent calendar…. yea for Christmas!

it took me a while to get in the spirit this year, mostly because i didn’t realize it was december until we were already two weeks in. then, just as i was geared up for the holidays — including creating this nifty lil number for our ugly sweater party (my roommate calls it “The Lil’ Orphan That Tried”) — i was knocked out with the vicious stomach plague that seems to be making the rounds. Once I recovered from that, I was blessed with a death cold, which is now gracing me with its presence.

However, what’s a shortage of breath and a plethora of earaches and snot when it’s finally Christmas Eve?! i thought i’d be depressed today since this is my first Christmas away from my family, but i’m surprisingly pretty jolly. my nieces unfortunately will have to miss out on their annual holiday activities with Auntie Claus, but they should be receiving their Christmas cash just in the nick of time for me to keep wearing my Cool Aunt badge.  i’m also pleased to say that i finished all of my shopping yesterday on my lunch break — after starting it yesterday on my lunch break… (ahem, except of course for those of you who have been randomly selected to be a part of my inaugural New Year’s Gifts from Flippy Program. you can expect to see your gifts sometime before Dec. 31, 2009. and they might not be gifts at all. they might just be hugs. or beer. i’ve found that the two are pretty interchangeable.)

we’ve got free food covering every inch of the office until 3:01 p.m., when free booze magically appears in my hands and my belly. i love Christmas.

and now, a present to all of you, using my newly found talent for quickly and sloppily using Microsoft Paint:

my cat wishes you a very happy holiday!

my cat wishes you a very "Meowy Christmas. Hope it's PURRRRRRfect!" (don't worry -- in real life, she has legs.)



bridesmaid boot camp and other out-of-date updates

i’m in the office on a saturday, and it’s not the worst thing in the world (although visions of bill lumberg are dancing in my head). in fact, i finally have time for some bloggy TLC.

i worked out five times this week. it’s become less of a chore and more of a way to unwind. (i think i’m addicted to my gym’s sauna.) with that said, i’m not losing any weight after nine solid weeks of quitting chik fil a and co. this wouldn’t be such a bad thing (i’m only a lil round), but i have to squeeze into an already-too-snug bridesmaid dress in less than a month. said dress is 3,000 miles away from me, so I don’t exactly have time to get it altered before the big day. (is it sad that i’m this stressed about a big day that’s not even *my* big day? the bride thinks it’s pretty sad…)

anyway, long story short, i’m not giving up on this workout kick no matter what kind of bad news mr. scale wants to throw my way. i feel better, right? (insert eye roll here.)

i did have to give up my dreams of becoming a championship boxer, though. after my free class (which was awesome), i would’ve had to purchase a membership to continue. unfortunately for my wallet, a membership costs $75/month with a minimum 12-month commitment — excluding the additional costs for equipment. sigh. guess i’ll have to stick to less conventional means of drunkenly wrestling with my friends (yes, plural. sorry, wools — you’re no longer the last person i beat up).

non-related somewhat noteworthy topics:

last weekend, i went to the beach. next weekend, i’m going to the beach. next year, i think i’ll move to the beach. in the meantime, i’m looking past the scattered thunderstorms to a summer filled with enjoying this.

i got a crackberry. picture me mobile blogging.

i heart chuck klosterman. i just started “IV: a decade of curious people and dangerous minds,” which begins with an essay about britney circa 2003 — how could i not heart him? seriously, though, his books are hilarious. (yes, i’m the creepy girl laughing out loud while she reads in public.) do yourself a favor and go buy “killing yourself to live” right this instant.

i just found out my dad reads my blog. (hi, daddy!) this is still nowhere near as bad as when he and my mom joined facebook. or as bad as the last family vacation we all took together, but that’s an entirely different story that i’ll probably never tell.

my phobia of raccoons has become ridiculously exploited. i guess this is what i get for having ridiculous phobias.

speaking of ridiculous, i’ve been ridiculously boring in my weeks of silence, and i think that’s all the updates i’ve got for ya. i’ve even toned down my drinking in the wake of my bridesmaid bootcamp activities, so the embarrassing stories that i usually don’t publicly write about are pretty much nil. (seriously, pithy — that bucket o wine was a myth.)



is it called an entourage if the celebrity isn’t famous yet?

i just spent the better half of an hour trying to convince my crazy (in a good way) roommate to audition for The Bachelor.

in the end, i just decided i’d nominate her. i don’t like to brag, but my nominating skills are so awesome i made her cry (in a good way) and was asked by another friend to write her J Date profile. tell me this isn’t a reality-show celebrity in the making:

It’s hard to capture Sarah’s personality on paper because she’s literally larger than life. Tall, blonde and beautiful, Sarah turns heads every time she walks into a room. She can be a bit intimidating at first with her strong handshake and loud Midwestern drawl, but once she speaks to you, you realize she’s just a sweet, kind-hearted, slightly ditsy, small town girl. Her confidence covers up the fact that she’s dealt with lots of family turmoil and has had to fend for herself since a young age. She’s moved around a lot, and at this point in her life, she just wants some stability and companionship from a man who will love her as much as she loves him. Her loyalty, determination and fun-loving attitude would guarantee that she’d make an excellent competitor on the show, as well as the perfect girl to win the bachelor’s heart and final rose.

is it wrong that i’m this excited about shoving my friend into a world that thrives on turning its stars into train wrecks for the sake of entertainment?

(it should be noted that she actually wants to do this. i’m not just living vicariously through her. although, if she gets on, i most certainly will live vicariously through her… and at least abuse the pseudo-celebrity power to go to cool parties.)



if i say it on the internet, i guess i have to do it…

… i’m going to the gym tonight.

i’m going to the gym tonight, and i’m going to like it. i’m going to run, i’m going to sweat, and i’m going to make my muscles scream at me.

and i’m going to start going three times a week at least once a week.

and i’m going to forget chik fil a exists.

and if the Caps win tonight (WHEN! WHEN the Caps win tonight!) and my roommate tries to get me to go out drinking to celebrate, i’m not going to do it.

i’m not going to drink and i’m going to the gym and i’m no longer eating chikin and i’m going to like my decision on all counts.

there. i said it. so now i gotta do it.



hodge podge o’ fun

as promised, i’ve been fairly silent since the beginning of april. that doesn’t mean my life has been the same.

since we last met:

– my quarter century mark passed without a hitch. (well, at least, i don’t remember much of a hitch. rumor has it i did fall face first into a cat-piss-covered futon at an apartment just outside of denver after throwing back shots of tequila and yelling at my friend for paying more attention to a trio of creepy men than her Royal Birthdayness.)

– speaking of denver, it’s gorgeous there. i miss mountains.

– took a work trip back to my homeland where i tried to squeeze in seeing all the people i love (except poem, who makes it a point to avoid the office when i’m around), several hours of meetings and planning sessions, frequenting martini bars and other haunts of my past, and catching up on sleep. excedrin pm is my new best friend.

– i got me another “al castle rocks” t-shirt. (be jealous.) actually, got me another three “al castle rocks” t-shirts because, in classic al castle form, the genius behind the t-shirt wasn’t sure what size i am now since i’ve surely gained weight since he last saw me.

– i had my first bridesmaid breakdown for the wedding i’m in this summer. after hopping from plane to plane and driving up and down washington state, earlier-mentioned denver friend’s mother made me burst into tears after i showed up two hours late to a bridal shower i wasn’t even supposed to be at — further proof that weddings are the devil and that i should not be forced into familial obligations when i’m jet-lagged, cranky and retardedly hungover.

– april 15. tax day. need i say more? well, i will. virginia tax day is coming up, too, and my bank account is quickly dwindling. my new year’s resolution isn’t going so well.

– my newer resolution to cut back on the chik fil a and get back into shape is also not going so well. i think if you take the time to sign up for a gym membership, you should automatically lose 5 pounds for showing initiative. that would be a much better motivator than the weekly “you’re-a-fat-ass” e-mails they send me.

– Pithy and i went to Shecky’s Girls Night Out. For $25, we got free goody bags and samples. The goody bags were pretty much worth it (i now have a lifetime supply of shampoo and lotions), but the next time i pay money for “free food and beverages” i’d better get more than a lean cuisine topped off by a drop of vodka — especially when i venture into a high-brow city event with the plague i carried back from the pacific northwest. (my apologies now to any lovely ladies i may have infected with my whooping cough.) i did, however, help convince Miss Pith to throw a Slumber Party. should make for a rollickingly inappropriate good time.

– i’ve gone back to my roots quite literally. it’s been four years since i decided i’d had enough of my over-possessive blonde-loving college boyfriend and grabbed my first box of auburn-brown dye. my love affair with the dark side continued through my lindsay lohan girl-crush days and on, ’til i fell for kristen bell’s blonde pixie cut. which brings me to today. i’m blonde again.

– i joined a co-ed softball team, which plays its first game on Wednesday. although i grew up playing the sport, i haven’t thrown, caught or hit a ball in about eight years and i’m absolutely terrified. i joined this so-called “drinking league” after being promised no one would be too competitive and i’d get lots of free beer. 16 THOUSAND e-mails later, i’m convinced these were just lies to get more women on the team so they wouldn’t have to forfeit.

– two tornadoes touched down in maryland last night. ummmm, excuse me?? they have tornadoes in maryland? whose idea was it to move east again? where’s the sunshine and humidity i signed up for?