Flipflops in the Rain

violent tendencies
December 17, 2009, 11:50 am
Filed under: fear and loathing, work and play | Tags: , ,

today, i has them. who wants to be my punching bag?

i would settle for hug. (a hug in which i will “accidentally” squeeze too hard and then maybe kick you in the shin.)

SADness and lethargy
October 28, 2009, 6:59 pm
Filed under: fear and loathing, perfectly impossible | Tags: , , , , , ,

i could go on and on linking to previous posts about how much i hate the fall/winter, bad weather and overall mood-swinginess i suffer from four to six months out of the year, but i won’t. (well, that’s a lie. i spent about five minutes doing it.)

for four to six months out of the year, i ache. i cough. i whine. i sleep. repeat.

i eat. i laze. i bitch. i sleep. repeat.

i lack creativity. i lack motivation. i lack hope.

FOR FOUR TO SIX MONTHS OUT OF THE YEAR. that’s pathetic. and unacceptable. and i’m ready to turn it around.

but i can’t figure out how. (see above.)

i know that exercise leads to energy — but i can only muster the energy to work out one to two times a week. (the second workout usually consist of lazy-girl’s yoga, which means i spend 10 minutes stretching and rolling around on the floor while my cat stares at me in confusion.)

i know waking up first thing in the morning and ignoring the snooze button increases this much-needed energy, but gawd! that extra 20 minutes of sleep feels sooo good and my bed is sooo toasty.

i know caffeine ultimately depletes my body’s power, but i can’t function like a normal human without it.

i know a lot of things about this disease they call SAD, but i don’t know where to start the recovery process. if someone has some tips, i sure could use them.

also, i lack so much creativity that i just used thesaurus.com far too many times.

i’m kind of afraid to say it…

… but am i the only one who’s pretty much over Gossip Girl?

don’t get me wrong — i’ll still watch it. but something is definitely off.

definitely not flipflop weather

In case you haven’t figured it out, I seriously hate rain — but reading about the Washington state floods is making me sick to my stomach. This video shows the devastation that my hometown has suffered in the past 48 hours. Is it weird that I feel guilty for not being home right now? To all my Valley Rats, Seattleites, Bellinghamsters and Ferndaliens, please be safe and stay dry.


picture stolen from my friend erika, who risked her life to play stormwatcher with her family yesterday. and to think i’m the one who majored in journalism.

why i hate this effing campaign. oh, yeah — and why i’m starting to hate obama supporters.

i make it a point NOT to talk about politics. living in DC during an election year, i’m finding that’s practically impossible.

i’ll make this brief — i’m a moderate, undecided voter who generally leans liberal (what’s up, my bellingham, wash., hippie roots). i registered to vote on voteforchange.com (smarter people than myself probably realize that this is a Barack Obama site — i’m an idiot.). since then, i have had to unsubscribe two of my email addresses from the spam lists i was inadvertently added to because i was receiving about 4-5 emails a day (most of which were waking me up at 3 a.m. by coming through to my blackberry).

that was the easy part.

i am now receiving 4-5 phone calls a week from 703-340-1178 — a number that was previously unknown to me. now, i rarely answer calls from unknown numbers. after receiving about seven missed calls from this number and no messages, i finally¬† got the courage to answer a few Saturdays ago after a few beers at oktoberfest. what do you know? it was an obama volunteer, asking me to pitch in for a candidate i was not yet ready to support myself.

i respectfully declined, thinking that was enough.

someone else called me the next day. and two days later. and another few days later.

i have now spoken to at least five different obama volunteers — each of them asking me the same thing. each of them receiving the same answer — NO, and take me off your effing telemarketing list.

i just got one more. now, i don’t know if you remember the day i’ve been having, but that was icing on my monday-sucks cake. i told him that he’d better do everything in his power to remove my phone number from their lists.

the next call i get will force me to vote republican. it might seem like a ridiculous reason, but i’m kind of ridiculous sometimes.

and — JUST SO WE’RE CLEAR — arguing with my ridiculousness, and emailing me about my ridiculousness, and calling me about my ridiculousness will NOT convince me to vote for obama.

(and because this is as close to a polical post as you’ll get from me, here’s somewhat of a rebuttal from an anti-McCain-spam monkey.)

things that suck bright and early this lovely monday
  • waking up at 4 a.m. and not falling back asleep right away.
  • finally falling asleep but oversleeping.
  • not having time to shower.
  • contacts ripping while in your eye.
  • contacts ripping when you don’t have a spare set or your glasses.
  • hypocrites.

i’m officially taking the rest of the day off from people and things who make me mad. if you need me, i’ll be hiding behind an attitude problem and an eye patch.

ugh, it’s october

everywhere i look, people are writing about fall.

let me tell you what i like about fall and the impending months of dark gloominess:

pumpkin spice flavoring. halloween. and hoodies.

that’s it. there’s no convincing me otherwise.

(you now have sufficient warning for six months of my whiny grumpiness. here’s hoping you find my bitterness charming.)

sad news: took the fluffball to the kitty hospital this morning for a, um, bladder procedure.
she secretly loves the pink bag

she secretly loves the pink bag

sadder news: i may be joining her at the people hospital because my diet includes the somewhat regular consumption of chili’s honey bbq chicken crispers, which apparently have 1890 CALORIES and 99 GRAM OF FAT. not including the side of heart-attack-flavored fries dipped in ranch.

seems i may need to modify my fast food fast to exclude sit-down chains.

in case you’re curious…

i’m pretty much over blogging.

bridesmaid boot camp and other out-of-date updates

i’m in the office on a saturday, and it’s not the worst thing in the world (although visions of bill lumberg are dancing in my head). in fact, i finally have time for some bloggy TLC.

i worked out five times this week. it’s become less of a chore and more of a way to unwind. (i think i’m addicted to my gym’s sauna.) with that said, i’m not losing any weight after nine solid weeks of quitting chik fil a and co. this wouldn’t be such a bad thing (i’m only a lil round), but i have to squeeze into an already-too-snug bridesmaid dress in less than a month. said dress is 3,000 miles away from me, so I don’t exactly have time to get it altered before the big day. (is it sad that i’m this stressed about a big day that’s not even *my* big day? the bride thinks it’s pretty sad…)

anyway, long story short, i’m not giving up on this workout kick no matter what kind of bad news mr. scale wants to throw my way. i feel better, right? (insert eye roll here.)

i did have to give up my dreams of becoming a championship boxer, though. after my free class (which was awesome), i would’ve had to purchase a membership to continue. unfortunately for my wallet, a membership costs $75/month with a minimum 12-month commitment — excluding the additional costs for equipment. sigh. guess i’ll have to stick to less conventional means of drunkenly wrestling with my friends (yes, plural. sorry, wools — you’re no longer the last person i beat up).

non-related somewhat noteworthy topics:

last weekend, i went to the beach. next weekend, i’m going to the beach. next year, i think i’ll move to the beach. in the meantime, i’m looking past the scattered thunderstorms to a summer filled with enjoying this.

i got a crackberry. picture me mobile blogging.

i heart chuck klosterman. i just started “IV: a decade of curious people and dangerous minds,” which begins with an essay about britney circa 2003 — how could i not heart him? seriously, though, his books are hilarious. (yes, i’m the creepy girl laughing out loud while she reads in public.) do yourself a favor and go buy “killing yourself to live” right this instant.

i just found out my dad reads my blog. (hi, daddy!) this is still nowhere near as bad as when he and my mom joined facebook. or as bad as the last family vacation we all took together, but that’s an entirely different story that i’ll probably never tell.

my phobia of raccoons has become ridiculously exploited. i guess this is what i get for having ridiculous phobias.

speaking of ridiculous, i’ve been ridiculously boring in my weeks of silence, and i think that’s all the updates i’ve got for ya. i’ve even toned down my drinking in the wake of my bridesmaid bootcamp activities, so the embarrassing stories that i usually don’t publicly write about are pretty much nil. (seriously, pithy — that bucket o wine was a myth.)