Flipflops in the Rain


i’m kind of afraid to say it…

… but am i the only one who’s pretty much over Gossip Girl?

don’t get me wrong — i’ll still watch it. but something is definitely off.



a thirst for vampire art

as i’ve found that the best way to increase blog traffic is to mention twilight, edward cullen and life-sized cut outs of chuck bass, i decided to grace you all with another example of my developing artistic ability:

twilight



and so the lion fell in love with blah blah blah…

about three things i’m absolutely positive:

1. edward cullen is a vampire…who looks exactly like chuck bass.
2. the part i enjoyed most about ‘twilight’ is that it took place in the pacific northwest…complete with washington state license plates that always leave me feeling strangely nostalgic for home.
3. even though i didn’t really like the book, didn’t really like the movie, and they killed off my favorite character (ooops…spoiler?), i’m still somewhat obsessed with the movie and can’t wait to see what they do with the sequel… but mostly so i can mock it.



i used to watch disney movies and that makes me cool

… which doesn’t really have anything to do with anything, except that i can name the seven dwarfs faster than three of my colleagues, and therefore, i get coolness points.

speaking of movies and mindless entertainment, i’m addicted to tv this fall. it’s getting ridiculous. a year ago, i watched one, maybe two, shows and only when i was really bored. this year, my sundays, mondays, tuesdays and thursdays are suddenly overpowered with brothers and sisters! gossip girl! fringe! the office! the other days of my week are filled with playing dvr catch-up.

i don’t know how people do this. when crazy eyes made a fall tv schedule a few years back, i mocked her viciously and shamelessly. now, i’m pretty sure my tv obsession is worse than hers and my head is pounding with useless knowledge about fictional pretty people and their in-no-way-realistic problems. then throw in the nonfictional pretty people and their in-no-way-realistic problems. seriously. when did i start caring about the hills or the girls next door or rachel zoe? and how do i get it to stop?!

the saddest part is that i haven’t even listed all the shows i actually watch in a week. or the ones that pithy and dead robin are trying desperately hard to turn me on to. or the football games i’ll be required to watch/sleep through in the upcoming months.

i’m afraid my perfectly crafted workout schedule is going to become extinct soon. any tips on how to conquer this zombie-like trance before it’s too late?



bridesmaid boot camp and other out-of-date updates

i’m in the office on a saturday, and it’s not the worst thing in the world (although visions of bill lumberg are dancing in my head). in fact, i finally have time for some bloggy TLC.

i worked out five times this week. it’s become less of a chore and more of a way to unwind. (i think i’m addicted to my gym’s sauna.) with that said, i’m not losing any weight after nine solid weeks of quitting chik fil a and co. this wouldn’t be such a bad thing (i’m only a lil round), but i have to squeeze into an already-too-snug bridesmaid dress in less than a month. said dress is 3,000 miles away from me, so I don’t exactly have time to get it altered before the big day. (is it sad that i’m this stressed about a big day that’s not even *my* big day? the bride thinks it’s pretty sad…)

anyway, long story short, i’m not giving up on this workout kick no matter what kind of bad news mr. scale wants to throw my way. i feel better, right? (insert eye roll here.)

i did have to give up my dreams of becoming a championship boxer, though. after my free class (which was awesome), i would’ve had to purchase a membership to continue. unfortunately for my wallet, a membership costs $75/month with a minimum 12-month commitment — excluding the additional costs for equipment. sigh. guess i’ll have to stick to less conventional means of drunkenly wrestling with my friends (yes, plural. sorry, wools — you’re no longer the last person i beat up).

non-related somewhat noteworthy topics:

last weekend, i went to the beach. next weekend, i’m going to the beach. next year, i think i’ll move to the beach. in the meantime, i’m looking past the scattered thunderstorms to a summer filled with enjoying this.

i got a crackberry. picture me mobile blogging.

i heart chuck klosterman. i just started “IV: a decade of curious people and dangerous minds,” which begins with an essay about britney circa 2003 — how could i not heart him? seriously, though, his books are hilarious. (yes, i’m the creepy girl laughing out loud while she reads in public.) do yourself a favor and go buy “killing yourself to live” right this instant.

i just found out my dad reads my blog. (hi, daddy!) this is still nowhere near as bad as when he and my mom joined facebook. or as bad as the last family vacation we all took together, but that’s an entirely different story that i’ll probably never tell.

my phobia of raccoons has become ridiculously exploited. i guess this is what i get for having ridiculous phobias.

speaking of ridiculous, i’ve been ridiculously boring in my weeks of silence, and i think that’s all the updates i’ve got for ya. i’ve even toned down my drinking in the wake of my bridesmaid bootcamp activities, so the embarrassing stories that i usually don’t publicly write about are pretty much nil. (seriously, pithy — that bucket o wine was a myth.)



‘the girl who insisted on coming here’

i’m off to toronto for the next three days! although the 9-hour drive (one way!) makes my already overactive boredom sensors flare up up, i’m looking forward to seeing something new. since moving east, i’ve made a genuine effort to travel around the area and explore. in addition to the thrill i get from mini-adventures like this, it keeps the skin-crawliness to a minimum.

so anyway, i’m off on a road trip to canada with the boys who love to love and hate me. as you can see, we may kill each other within minutes… i haven’t been that far north since the dollar’s value dropped, so i’m thinkin’ we won’t be doing too much shopping. (to be completely honest, judgmental and stereotypical, though, their fashion senses aren’t exactly what you’d expect and i’m ok with not .) in fact, i’m not really sure what we’ll be doing, other than looking for landmarks i recognize from conan o’brien’s toronto stint.

hope everyone else has a fun, relaxing weekend planned!



is it called an entourage if the celebrity isn’t famous yet?

i just spent the better half of an hour trying to convince my crazy (in a good way) roommate to audition for The Bachelor.

in the end, i just decided i’d nominate her. i don’t like to brag, but my nominating skills are so awesome i made her cry (in a good way) and was asked by another friend to write her J Date profile. tell me this isn’t a reality-show celebrity in the making:

It’s hard to capture Sarah’s personality on paper because she’s literally larger than life. Tall, blonde and beautiful, Sarah turns heads every time she walks into a room. She can be a bit intimidating at first with her strong handshake and loud Midwestern drawl, but once she speaks to you, you realize she’s just a sweet, kind-hearted, slightly ditsy, small town girl. Her confidence covers up the fact that she’s dealt with lots of family turmoil and has had to fend for herself since a young age. She’s moved around a lot, and at this point in her life, she just wants some stability and companionship from a man who will love her as much as she loves him. Her loyalty, determination and fun-loving attitude would guarantee that she’d make an excellent competitor on the show, as well as the perfect girl to win the bachelor’s heart and final rose.

is it wrong that i’m this excited about shoving my friend into a world that thrives on turning its stars into train wrecks for the sake of entertainment?

(it should be noted that she actually wants to do this. i’m not just living vicariously through her. although, if she gets on, i most certainly will live vicariously through her… and at least abuse the pseudo-celebrity power to go to cool parties.)



hodge podge o’ fun

as promised, i’ve been fairly silent since the beginning of april. that doesn’t mean my life has been the same.

since we last met:

– my quarter century mark passed without a hitch. (well, at least, i don’t remember much of a hitch. rumor has it i did fall face first into a cat-piss-covered futon at an apartment just outside of denver after throwing back shots of tequila and yelling at my friend for paying more attention to a trio of creepy men than her Royal Birthdayness.)

– speaking of denver, it’s gorgeous there. i miss mountains.

– took a work trip back to my homeland where i tried to squeeze in seeing all the people i love (except poem, who makes it a point to avoid the office when i’m around), several hours of meetings and planning sessions, frequenting martini bars and other haunts of my past, and catching up on sleep. excedrin pm is my new best friend.

– i got me another “al castle rocks” t-shirt. (be jealous.) actually, got me another three “al castle rocks” t-shirts because, in classic al castle form, the genius behind the t-shirt wasn’t sure what size i am now since i’ve surely gained weight since he last saw me.

– i had my first bridesmaid breakdown for the wedding i’m in this summer. after hopping from plane to plane and driving up and down washington state, earlier-mentioned denver friend’s mother made me burst into tears after i showed up two hours late to a bridal shower i wasn’t even supposed to be at — further proof that weddings are the devil and that i should not be forced into familial obligations when i’m jet-lagged, cranky and retardedly hungover.

– april 15. tax day. need i say more? well, i will. virginia tax day is coming up, too, and my bank account is quickly dwindling. my new year’s resolution isn’t going so well.

– my newer resolution to cut back on the chik fil a and get back into shape is also not going so well. i think if you take the time to sign up for a gym membership, you should automatically lose 5 pounds for showing initiative. that would be a much better motivator than the weekly “you’re-a-fat-ass” e-mails they send me.

– Pithy and i went to Shecky’s Girls Night Out. For $25, we got free goody bags and samples. The goody bags were pretty much worth it (i now have a lifetime supply of shampoo and lotions), but the next time i pay money for “free food and beverages” i’d better get more than a lean cuisine topped off by a drop of vodka — especially when i venture into a high-brow city event with the plague i carried back from the pacific northwest. (my apologies now to any lovely ladies i may have infected with my whooping cough.) i did, however, help convince Miss Pith to throw a Slumber Party. should make for a rollickingly inappropriate good time.

– i’ve gone back to my roots quite literally. it’s been four years since i decided i’d had enough of my over-possessive blonde-loving college boyfriend and grabbed my first box of auburn-brown dye. my love affair with the dark side continued through my lindsay lohan girl-crush days and on, ’til i fell for kristen bell’s blonde pixie cut. which brings me to today. i’m blonde again.

– i joined a co-ed softball team, which plays its first game on Wednesday. although i grew up playing the sport, i haven’t thrown, caught or hit a ball in about eight years and i’m absolutely terrified. i joined this so-called “drinking league” after being promised no one would be too competitive and i’d get lots of free beer. 16 THOUSAND e-mails later, i’m convinced these were just lies to get more women on the team so they wouldn’t have to forfeit.

– two tornadoes touched down in maryland last night. ummmm, excuse me?? they have tornadoes in maryland? whose idea was it to move east again? where’s the sunshine and humidity i signed up for?



i’m here, but i’m really gone.

i’ve been MIA lately, as I’ve been turning my attention away from my (craptastic) computer and toward spiritual enlightenment and personal well-being. I’ve joined a gym, bought some books and vowed to start eating healthier.

Instead, I’ve gone to the gym twice and become obsessed with sitting on my (roommate’s) new couch while watching TV shows that other people have long since preached about: Grey’s Anatomy, Brothers and Sisters, Gilmore Girls… I can’t pull myself away from my (roommate’s) new flat-screen in the living room — unless, of course, to grab a glass of wine, beer or some other form of liquid deliciousness. I’ve also managed to get some much-deserved retail therapy* in as the sweet, sweet, remaining hours of my early 20s rapidly diminish.**

So as you can see, I’ve been extremely busy lately. I apologize for the lack of updates and warn you that they’ll probably be even further and far between these next few weeks as I hop back and forth across the country.

*In the throes of my impending quarter-life crisis, I apparently decided to buy $40 lip gloss. Please do not let me give this lip gloss away to a homeless person in lieu of cash. (it’s strangely enough been known to happen.)

** Please also do not hurt me for insinuating that life is over at 25. I know most of my readers are part of the walking dead and still in denial about it. I’m just helping you come to terms with it. We can be here for each other in this time of darkness.



a long time ago, we used to be friends…
February 25, 2008, 9:59 am
Filed under: a few of my favorite things, celebrity worship | Tags: , , ,

In between moving houses, drinking beer at the house, taking pictures of the house, shopping for the house, cleaning for the house, organizing of the house, I’ve been watching veronica mars. lots and lots of veronica mars. since you’ve last seen me, i’ve decided i want to *be* veronica mars. i realize this means i need to stop scaring so easily. and possibly lose 30 pounds. and shrink two inches. and dye my hair blonde. and lose my best friend to a tragic murder scandal. and put my mom in rehab. and work for my dad solving crimes. and go back to high school.

hmm… maybe i haven’t thought this through very carefully.

whatever the case, i heart veronica mars.